“Single” Doesn’t Have to Mean “Lonely” or “Unhappy,” Especially When Your Friends Rock

an illustration of two people viewed from behind. They have arms over the other's shoulders in a supportive way.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Amatonormativity: (noun) the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types

We’ve talked many times on this site about amatonormativity.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Are There Situations Where Too Much Support Can Be Worse Than a Lack of It?

a lollipop in a mug
Image by Steven Greenberg / CC BY

I remember the first time I heard the term “secondary gain.”

I was transcribing charts for a large hospital system. I had recently transitioned to a floating role, where I had a primary hospital account I worked for but had been considered flexible and capable enough to work basically anywhere. To cover other people’s time off.  » Read more

Continue Reading

How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

four round fruits wearing snow hats with smiles drawn on them and googly eyes placed so they have faces. The snow hats are khaki colored and have pom poms. The fruits appear to be, from left to right, a nectarine, an orange, a lemon, and a tangerine.
Image Source

As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

Continue Reading

Selfishly Helping

2 kittens snuggling

It’s a funny thing… over the years, I have acted as a sounding board and supportive listener for a very large number of people. And I’ll admit it hasn’t always been easy – sometimes the timing is very inconvenient, sometimes you have empathy overload and feel an incredible amount of their pain, and sometimes you’re put in awkward spots where people have confided in you about each other,  » Read more

Continue Reading