Ways to Bridge the Gap If Your Partner’s Top Love Language Is Words of Affirmation & Yours Isn’t

a 7 series of dialogue balloons. Their colors, left to right: kelly green, spring green, yellow, orange, purple, dark purple, blue
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Hi Page!

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.

I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing.  » Read more

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Love Bombing & Supernormal Stimulus, Redux: Finding the Button Is Only Half of It

It's a stencil painted onto concrete. Within the stenciled image are two bunnies that have a bomb between them with a heart over it
Image by karlnorling / CC BY

I wanted to write to you about your article “The Supernormal Stimulus.” In it, you talk about an approach to optimizing in relationships where you figure out what matters to your partner the most and then you do it. In it, you bring up ways that zoologists were able to trick birds: Geese who think humans are their mothers,  » Read more

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When Dating Someone New Gives You a Better Look at Your Own Annoying Behaviors & Makes You Appreciate Your Other Partners More

a vintage drawing of a lady looking at herself in a mirror
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I was as hard headed as they come when asking for what I needed. In my case, it was being fed a steady stream of compliments by anyone I dated. It wasn’t enough to receive the same one over and over. No, I wanted a carefully curated mix. “I love you” or “you’re cute” would barely register.  » Read more

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