Man, the pandemic… it’s… ugh… it’s a bad time.
Regardless of who you are, whether you’ve got your feet on the ground and are looking at peer-reviewed data or have decided to don some manner of tinfoil hat (of any shape or size), these times are difficult and frustrating.
If you’re one of those folks who think this whole thing is no big deal re: public health (for purposes of disclosure, » Read more
I’m not saying I don’t have a mean streak.
I’m absolutely capable of saying unkind things. Being insulting, cruel.
And when that mean streak is activated, I’ve been known to wound with words. The same mental systems that write love poetry or give grand compliments can easily be turned into a kind of war machinery. » Read more
My grandma once told me that if you’re sad that you should just put on bright lipstick and smile.
Her reasoning was more about self-protection than anything else. She said that people would be too busy looking at your lipstick to notice your sadness.
And so you’d avoid the most dreadful states of all: Pity. » Read more
“I’m so upset I can’t think straight,” she says.
And I believe her. “Just take a second and breathe,” I say.
“I can breathe!” she says back. “I’m talking, aren’t I? If a person can talk, they can breathe.” Her words keep getting faster and more frantic seeming.
“I know,” » Read more
PQ 21.2 — When I am faced with conflict, how do I seek to act with courage?
Sometimes the courageous move is standing up and advocating for yourself. Defending the boundaries you’ve set. Fighting for your own rights.
And sometimes the braver move is taking a step back and gracefully bowing out. » Read more
First of all, I want to thank you so much for your blog! I take a lot of support and encouragement from your writing. I especially enjoy your strictly non-dogmatic, personal and individual approach. You have the rare gift of being rational and emotional at the same time. » Read more
“I don’t know how you do it,” she says.
“Do what?” I say.
“Polyamory,” she says.
“Happily,” I reply.
She laughs. “It just always seems like you have something stressful going on. If it’s not an issue with one of your partners, something’s going on with one of their partners. » Read more
When I look at beautiful things now, I don’t wonder at the talent that must have produced it. Instead, I think of the stress that it probably took.
What happened behind the scenes? How many nights were spent sleepless? Exactly how heavy was the weight of the artist’s head in their hand?
The most beautiful things in life often come with very hidden and very private costs. » Read more
I love to work, I love to work, I love to work out after work.
I’d love to spend a little time with this woman I’m seeing,
Except, uh, we never really get any time to spend together,
So, we call each other up, and we talk about work.
-lyrics from “Stress,” » Read more
I went through 2 poly openings of previously closed relationships, one in 2015 and one in 2009. They were very different in character. I’ve talked extensively (e.g., here, here, and here) about the differences that were brought about because I had different primaries each time, Seth in 2009 and Skyspook in 2015, » Read more