I remember the first time I slept with someone who actually cared about my pleasure. The way they moved their hands over my body, the way they monitored my face to see if I liked what they were doing. The way they actually even asked what I liked.
It felt good, » Read more
I Kept Having the Same Two Conversations, Over and Over Again
Growing up bisexual, I’d end up in an unpleasant conversation every time I told a new partner my sexual orientation. And it usually went one of the following ways:
Them: Oh, you’re bi? Next thing I know, you’ll be telling me you need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, » Read more
As I’ve written before, unlike a lot of other polyamorous educators, I wasn’t someone who always knew I was polyamorous. Indeed, I considered myself quite a monogamous person growing up. Even now, I think of myself as being more ambiamorous than anything else, able to happily practice either polyamory or monogamy, » Read more
“Keep your top on,” she said.
“Sure,” I said, dropping my arms to my sides and then quickly wrapping them around her waist. And as we kissed, I moved my hands up her torso, feeling her body through her shirt. Her chest had its own topography. Subtle places where she came in. Went out. » Read more
Skyspook and I have been charting my polyamorous web chart for the second book (Update: it’s out!). A map of my current relationship system, with all of my partners’ partners and so on. Taken as a whole, it looks hopelessly complicated.
But it never feels that way. These days it’s a pretty stable system. » Read more
I’m thinking about Charlie Howard again. Although queer kids from Maine don’t really stop thinking about him.
If you’ve read Stephen King’s It (or watched the miniseries from the 90’s), you may be familiar with the scene where teenagers throw a gay man into the river.
But it’s not just a horrific scene. » Read more
Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.
While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.
Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist. » Read more
The Life and Times of a Failed Sapiosexual
(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
early 21st century: from Latin sapiens » Read more
‘wise’ + sexual, on the model of heterosexual and homosexual.
My wife and I opened our marriage a while ago. Well, opened it at least in theory. We haven’t found anybody yet. Maybe it’s because we live in a conservative area with a lot of religious people, but it’s really been hard finding a woman to date us both (I’m straight, » Read more
“What prompted the ‘biphobic’ comment from a reader?” they ask me.
I laugh. “That was several months ago. It was in response to this post. I admit in the piece I was near the line, and I knew it would be controversial. I was encouraged by several other queer people to write it because they wanted to but feared the backlash.” » Read more