I’m lying in bed in my pajamas. It’s bedtime. Every one of my normal bedtime routines has been done. And I’m lying there reading a book, which I do pretty much every night before I go to sleep.
It’s a good book. A funny one. But I glance over and see you lying next to me. » Read more
Science’s role is to test hypotheses and uncover the truth. Sometimes this uncovered truth is surprising. Other times it’s a big duh, “Well thanks for the info, Captain Obvious” kind of moment.
Frankly, reality doesn’t care as much about our biases as we do.
Today’s study falls into the Duh Bucket for me. » Read more
Which decision is more lethal?:
- Deciding to drive from Detroit to Chicago
- Having sex without a condom with a person whose HIV status is unknown
If you’re anything like most people, you will say that the second scenario is the riskier one. That risky sex poses more danger to you than a simple car trip from Detroit to Chicago. » Read more
I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
Why is it such a controversial thing to be sex-positive? a reader writes. The more I grow and age, the more I think that’s what I need to be.
When I was very little, my mother decided she wanted me to be her sidekick. » Read more
I remember the first time I slept with someone who actually cared about my pleasure. The way they moved their hands over my body, the way they monitored my face to see if I liked what they were doing. The way they actually even asked what I liked.
It felt good, » Read more
PQ 19.3 — Does unbarriered sex carry emotional significance to me?
One afternoon as I was poring over posts in one of the many polyamorous groups that I lurk in, I discovered that there was a new in-group war over the term “fluid bonding.”
For those who haven’t heard it before, » Read more
PQ 19.2 — Is sex a mandatory part of an intimate relationship for me? Would I consider a relationship with someone uninterested in sex or stay in a relationship with someone who loses interest in sex with me?
No, sex isn’t a mandatory part of an intimate relationship with me. » Read more
PQ 19.1 — How do I define “sex”? What activities are sex? What aren’t?
Yes, this question! Everyone, take a look at this question. You would think it’s straightforward, no? And that people would agree on the answer.
But no, they do not.
Famously, » Read more
Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.
However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did. » Read more