I remember the first time I slept with someone who actually cared about my pleasure. The way they moved their hands over my body, the way they monitored my face to see if I liked what they were doing. The way they actually even asked what I liked.
It felt good, » Read more
PQ 19.3 — Does unbarriered sex carry emotional significance to me?
One afternoon as I was poring over posts in one of the many polyamorous groups that I lurk in, I discovered that there was a new in-group war over the term “fluid bonding.”
For those who haven’t heard it before, » Read more
PQ 19.2 — Is sex a mandatory part of an intimate relationship for me? Would I consider a relationship with someone uninterested in sex or stay in a relationship with someone who loses interest in sex with me?
No, sex isn’t a mandatory part of an intimate relationship with me. » Read more
PQ 19.1 — How do I define “sex”? What activities are sex? What aren’t?
Yes, this question! Everyone, take a look at this question. You would think it’s straightforward, no? And that people would agree on the answer.
But no, they do not.
Famously, » Read more
Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.
However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did. » Read more
“Let’s see how many orgasms I can give you,” he says. “My previous record is nine in one night. But I’d like to try and top that.”
I stiffen. He isn’t talking about me when he references his record. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s implied that I’m in sexual competition with some unknown mystery woman. » Read more
“I have to go soon,” I tell Ro, glancing at the clock on her microwave.
She nods. “I had a feeling. We talked away our time again.”
It’s a repeat problem we have. Dinner and drinks and conversation monopolize our dates. Before we know it, I have to drive home. No time for sex. » Read more
PQ 8.9 — Do I believe that other people are willing to do sexual things that I’m not willing to do, and therefore my partner will like having sex with them better?
No, nothing like that.
I know this may be different for a lot of people. » Read more
PQ 8.8 — Is sex the glue that holds our relationship together? If my partner has sex with someone else, do I think the relationship will come unglued?
As I mentioned before, I’m hypersexual. And a large part of my personal development re: relationships has been learning to control my libido. » Read more
PQ 8.7 — Do I think that if my partner has sex with someone “better in bed” than I am, she won’t want to have sex with me anymore or won’t need me anymore?
Skyspook comes home from his date, glowing. I know what he’s been up to. Because he’s got that “shimmer” » Read more