When Sex Positivity Is Rape Culture With a Bow On It

a photograph of a cat with a bow on its head with an uncomfortable expression on its face
Image by JoshBerglund19 / CC BY

Content Warning: Sex Positivity as Coercion


Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

This is the seventh article they’ve contributed to Poly.Land (wow!). Here are the others:

  1. I’m Too Anxious to Be Jealous
  2. Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again 
  3. Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
  4.   » Read more

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I Learned in Elementary School that People Will Touch Your Body Without Permission

a school classroom with all the chairs set on top of the desks
Image by ajari / CC BY

I learned something in the coat room in elementary school.

If they can, people will touch your body without permission.

Especially if it’s dark. And quick. And there are enough people around that you can’t be sure who exactly touched you. Let alone call them out on it.

Sometimes more than one kid would cop a feel as we shuffled out to meet our teacher,  » Read more

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How Are We Supposed to Really Understand Sex If We’re Not Comfortable Talking About It?

a black background with white lettering. The words read "Censored"
Image by Guerretto / CC BY

It’s happy hour at the bar with Skyspook’s coworkers. I’m his designated driver and feeling a bit out of place as a plus one. Most of the people there I’m meeting for the first time, and they’re nice enough, so I do my best to chat with them.

I’m relieved when Skyspook’s boss walks up to me since we’ve met in the past and talked before.  » Read more

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PQ 8.8 — More Glue, Please! Sex, Intimacy, and Reinforcing a Relationship Through Collateral Attachment

a closeup of a few dozen bottles of glue that have orange nozzles and white bottles
Image by bradleypjohnson / CC BY

PQ 8.8 — Is sex the glue that holds our relationship together? If my partner has sex with someone else, do I think the relationship will come unglued?


As I mentioned before, I’m hypersexual. And a large part of my personal development re: relationships has been learning to control my libido.  » Read more

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“That’s Not Poly”: Polyamorous Sex Negativity and the Relationship Escalator

a rainbow escalator (used to signify the diversity of relationships that are possible if we get away from sex negativity in polyamory)
Image by Graham C99 / CC BY

Polyamorous Controversy Over “Benefits”

As readers responded to our recent post 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous on social media, one debunked myth quickly emerged as the most controversial:

4. If you have flings, you’re not polyamorous.

Some other folks may feel differently about this, but for me polyamory is about radical openness to whatever happens to develop.  » Read more

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