Don’t Talk Yourself Out of Deep, Meaningful Connection By Calling It Unrealistic

a brown rope with a knot tied into a heart shape
Image by Pexels / CC 0

There’s a meme I made a while back that I post from time to time. The lead-in caption reads, “When you’re making up with someone and they take responsibility for their part in the argument and you also take responsibility for yours.”

Beneath this lead-in is a photograph of actress Tatyana Ali in her role of Ashley Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  » Read more

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Why I Like Old Relationship Energy More Than New Relationship Energy

a handful of red wooden hearts scattered across a white surface
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I can still remember what my ex-husband said when we’d been dating each for a few months.

“I’m sad that the chase is over.”

I laughed at the time when he said it. Which he wasn’t fond of, because he was being serious (and he often interpreted laughter as hostile).

He went on to explain that his favorite parts of his past relationships had been in the courtship phase.  » Read more

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In Some Relationships, So Much Energy Gets Wasted on Debating About Who Is Right or Wrong Instead of Learning to Manage Differences 

a black cat sitting on a stepstool
Image by Laura LaRose / CC BY

When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.

Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″  » Read more

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When You Give People Who Don’t Deserve It Your All, What Do You Have Left?

a black and white photo a person holding 2 empty outstretched hands
Image by Caitlin Regan / CC BY

A lot of people involuntarily cringe when you use the word “deserve,” regardless of context. Because the way most people talk about who’s deserving and who isn’t, there’s a deterministic bent to it, an underlying belief that some of us are born into this world entitled to happiness and prosperity. And others aren’t. Usually this is predicated on factors beyond our control: How rich our parents are,  » Read more

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I’d Been Dreaming of Home an Awfully Long Time, But I’m Glad It Took a While to Find It

a closeup of a dandelion flower gone to seed
Image by cattan2011 / CC BY

Jealousy is in some measure just and reasonable, since it merely aims at keeping something that belongs to us or we think belongs to us, whereas envy is a frenzy that cannot bear anything that belongs to others.

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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I was alone a lot when I was growing up.  » Read more

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