Within the past year or so, there’s been a growing movement to increase awareness of the red flag’s opposite — the relationship green flag. I’ve seen a lot of qualities mentioned as green flags.
As I’ve written many times before, I had a difficult transition into polyamory. I didn’t find non-monogamy to be easy. Maybe for some people it… Read More »Having Known Unselfish Polyamorists Has Restored Faith the Pandemic Has Tested
I remember the first time I slept with someone who actually cared about my pleasure. The way they moved their hands over my body, the… Read More »Selfish Lovers Don’t Just Disappoint. They Can Also Distort Your View of Sexuality.
“You know, Page,” she says. “Polyamory sounds so great in theory. It’s just…I can’t get past one thing: Even considering polyamory makes me feel so… Read More »Polyamory Isn’t Selfish — And Here’s Why
I’m sitting with my girlfriend Ro at a jazz club. The band tonight is incredible. They tell us they drove directly to Cleveland from New… Read More »Musicians Who Prefer to Play in Groups Aren’t Considered Selfish, But Lovers Who Prefer Groups Are
“I’m always doing everything for everyone else,” she says. “And where does it get me?” I’m taken aback. I’m not sure where this is coming… Read More »Kindness Misers: “I’m Always Doing Everything for Everyone Else”
A reader made an excellent observation about my earlier piece “How to Know if You’re Selfish.” I’m looking at your criterion for selfishness at the… Read More »The Throwaway Concession: Selfishness and the Trojan Horse
I recently stumbled across a post over at Esther Perel’s blog called “Relationship accountability and the rise of ghosting.” Post author Lindsay addresses consequences of… Read More »Icing, Simmering, or Balancing Multiple Priorities? Another Way Polyamory Requires Trust
I am a long-term recovering people pleaser. Growing up in a house with difficult family members, I learned quite young to set aside my own… Read More »How to Know if You’re Selfish: A Pattern of Not Giving Back
Born with a Target on My Back I wasn’t allowed to be particular. Growing up, only two people in my family were allowed to be particular.… Read More »Any Particular Person: On Growing Up Catering to Difficult People