Do you consider yourself a social chameleon? Or are you the kind of person who embodies the saying “what you see is what you get”?
It all depends on how much you self-monitor.
Self-monitoring is when people pay attention to their own behavior and modify it according to the particular social context they find themselves in. » Read more
I have a lot of movies that I’ve technically watched but haven’t really seen. Ones where I could maybe tell you who the major characters are and what the film is vaguely about (maybe), but most of the smaller details of the plot are lost on me.
There’s a reason for this. » Read more
The Halo and the Horns
In 2009, I lost 160 lbs. It took me two years and a very consistent effort (a mix of low carb, calorie counting, and exercise). But I’ve kept most of it off. This far out? That’s a minor miracle.
I learned a lot about myself as I lost weight. » Read more
It’s not easy being a kid. Kids have all the emotions that adults have, but they’re yet to figure out coping skills. Especially the little ones.
They act on their emotions rather than dealing with them. Excessive stress leads to behavioral problems.
However, in some ways, I admire their lack of emotional regulation. » Read more
PQ 6.5 — Do I look for hidden meanings in other people’s words? Do I bury my real meaning?
She is the most beautiful woman in the world. We’re whizzing down the road. A rural route. Trees rush by. She’s in the driver’s seat, like always. Her long black hair glints in the sun. » Read more
PQ 5.10 — How do I evaluate my choices when the effects of my actions are impossible to predict?
I hate to break it to you, but those times when the effects of your actions are impossible to predict?
That’s nearly 100% of the time. Especially when it comes to interpersonal interactions. » Read more
“You shouldn’t care what people think of you,” a close friend used to say to me.
I didn’t agree then, and I still don’t.
While being a people pleaser can be the road to ruin, I also think it’s possible to take things too far in the other direction. » Read more
It’s very common for polyamorous bloggers to mostly write in generalities, leave out or obscure specifics. I know personally that as much as I try to be as vivid and specific as possible (because I feel like it helps readers connect more with my experiences) that I rarely put things out publicly while I’m currently in the thick of things, » Read more
Skyspook: You say you don’t have strong opinions, but you do.
Me: Oh yeah?
Skyspook: It’s because it’s something you value about yourself , that you’re unopinionated, that you don’t have preferences. Even though you do.
Me: Ugh, stop that.
Skyspook: And apparently you’re ashamed that you’re proud of that. » Read more
Silence disturbs me. I grew up attached to the hip of a mother who chattered incessantly. Mostly to me, sometimes to herself, often into the phone. Dishing out the gossip while stirring a big pot of spaghetti sauce, thick links of sausage bobbing beneath the surface. When she was silent, she was sullen, moody, brooding – » Read more