I’m happiest when I’m able to lift someone else up. To make them feel happy. Better about themselves. More hopeful.
This is true in general but especially so when it comes to those who are closest to me. When it comes to my romantic relationships.
I frankly can’t imagine getting into an intimate relationship and not having that be one of my major goals: To make that other person’s life better through my involvement in it. » Read more
These days I live with a romantic partner who makes me very happy. Before I met them, I didn’t know this was actually possible. I’d had long-term relationships before, but I’d never been with someone who was so supportive. And frankly, even as responsive in conversation, if I really think about it (stumbling on today’s study prompted me to). » Read more
“If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else” is something that other people basically never stop saying. Only people with high self-esteem (positive self-regard) can truly engage in healthy, long-lasting relationships, people claim. The rest of the world is out of luck. Doomed to failed relationships and/or a life alone.
And like anything that gets said over and over again, » Read more
I’m sure you’ve been there.
You’re driving down the highway, just trying to get where you’re trying to go. Staying in your own lane. Driving as safely as you can with both hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road…
When you come upon someone that’s driving like they’re a zombie who stole a car. » Read more
There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:
“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”
But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words, » Read more
I’m standing in middle of the kitchen, clutching my head out of frustration. “Ugh,” I say. “I just wish I weren’t so freaking stupid sometimes.”
“Page,” Justin says.
I move my hand and look directly into his eyes. “What?”
“Stop being so mean to my friend.”
I crack a smile. » Read more
There are so many different kinds of love. We really only have one word in English to address a wide variety of feelings. I’ve seen this play out in a number of different, problematic ways. I ran into a situation last summer where the L word got me into trouble, where what was more of a friendly love was taken as something far more serious. » Read more
The neighbor’s kid was yelling “I am a SU-PER-STAR!” repeatedly at max volume. Oh, honey, I thought. That path just leads to ruin…
Because it’s not true what they told us. Not true at all. Despite the best intentions of the self-help gurus, the pop psychologists, and many, » Read more
I take criticism from other people very much to heart – perhaps too much to heart. Sadly, compliments tend to roll right off my back.
If someone gives me a compliment, especially if it’s very global and nonspecific such as, “You know, you’re a really wonderful person,” I immediately begin an investigation in my brain, » Read more
When the Lord of the Rings movies started coming out (nearly 15 years ago now, how is that even possible?), I was immediately taken with Gollum.
Movie Gollum was markedly even larger than life than his literary counterpart. It wasn’t just his wretched adorableness — although I’m sure that didn’t hurt. » Read more