There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:
“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”
But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words, » Read more
I’m standing in middle of the kitchen, clutching my head out of frustration. “Ugh,” I say. “I just wish I weren’t so freaking stupid sometimes.”
“Page,” Justin says.
I move my hand and look directly into his eyes. “What?”
“Stop being so mean to my friend.”
I crack a smile. » Read more
There are so many different kinds of love. We really only have one word in English to address a wide variety of feelings. I’ve seen this play out in a number of different, problematic ways. I ran into a situation last summer where the L word got me into trouble, where what was more of a friendly love was taken as something far more serious. » Read more
The neighbor’s kid was yelling “I am a SU-PER-STAR!” repeatedly at max volume. Oh, honey, I thought. That path just leads to ruin…
Because it’s not true what they told us. Not true at all. Despite the best intentions of the self-help gurus, the pop psychologists, and many, » Read more
I take criticism from other people very much to heart – perhaps too much to heart. Sadly, compliments tend to roll right off my back.
If someone gives me a compliment, especially if it’s very global and nonspecific such as, “You know, you’re a really wonderful person,” I immediately begin an investigation in my brain, » Read more
When the Lord of the Rings movies started coming out (nearly 15 years ago now, how is that even possible?), I was immediately taken with Gollum.
Movie Gollum was markedly even larger than life than his literary counterpart. It wasn’t just his wretched adorableness — although I’m sure that didn’t hurt. » Read more
I dreamt last night that, completely unbeknownst to me, everyone and I mean, literally everyone was hiding a giant roll of fat under their clothes. It was funny that I hadn’t seen it before. It had always been that way. The pannus was not uncommon, loose abdominal aprons of skin that hung practically to the knees. » Read more
An entry in my Livejournal March 10, 2011:
keeping myself busy
Posted on 2011.03.10 at 16:26
I am having one of those rare days where projects > people.
Curiously I’m feeling intense waves of anger, an emotion I haven’t felt in years – blind, seething molten strands of hatred, » Read more
I woke up yesterday morning, completely without warning, with a sense that a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt lighter, more at peace. My anxiety was better than I can remember it being. I could speak without the echo of fear and doubt that accompanies most of my social interactions (in the manner of quick thoughts like “well, » Read more