I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.
I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing. » Read more
There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:
“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”
But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words, » Read more
PQ 21.4 — In what ways do I care for myself? How do I care for the people around me?
The way that I care for myself and the way that I care for others is similar. I’ve come to realize something very important: A big part of love for me is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. » Read more
I’m standing in middle of the kitchen, clutching my head out of frustration. “Ugh,” I say. “I just wish I weren’t so freaking stupid sometimes.”
“Page,” Justin says.
I move my hand and look directly into his eyes. “What?”
“Stop being so mean to my friend.”
I crack a smile. » Read more
“I’ve been polyamorous for years,” she says. “And we’ve done so many things together. Wild adventures. I’ve seen her do sexual stuff plenty of times with others. It never bothered me. But I walked in on them in each other’s arms and… ugh.”
“And it pulled at you?” I say, nodding. » Read more
“Face the demons if they approach, but don’t go demon hunting,” my friend Gull says.
It’s solid advice.
At one point in my life, I was totally overrun by demons. They poured in like one of those epic scenes in The Lord of the Rings. Think the Battle of Helmsdeep. » Read more
A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life won’t matter.
This sort of thinking is dangerous. Once you accept the premise that a life is worthwhile only if it is truly notable and great, » Read more
Self-compassion, the ability of a person to forgive themselves when they make mistakes, is more important than self-esteem when it comes to success in life and overall emotional well-being.
Self-compassion is not only important for our individual happiness. It’s also vital in relationships.
The reason for this: People who are low in self-compassion? » Read more
Empathy and Self-Control Are Linked
The Atlantic recently did an exciting piece on a new study by Alexander Soutschek of the University of Zurich. The results demonstrate that empathy and self-control both originate from the same area of the brain, suggesting a link between them. As Ed Yong of The Atlantic writes:
Press your right index finger to the top of your right ear, » Read more
Saturday morning. Slept in. But I’m still exhausted from another long week at work.
It’s all conflict all the time now there. Between my coworkers, the mediation, the hearing people out.
The fear. The lack of insight. From everyone. And I’m sure there’s stuff I’m not seeing, as tempting as it is to judge everyone. » Read more