“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”
And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,” » Read more
I used to be a chronic apologizer.
Ask anyone who knew me back in the day. The words “I’m sorry” were a reflex. I said them more than just about any other phrase.
Because I was sorry. I forever saw how I made little mistakes. Got in people’s way. » Read more
You’ll never understand what you mean to me. That used to bother me quite a bit, but I’m starting to make peace with it.
Make peace with the fact that you look in the mirror and see some other person who bears no resemblance to the one I love.
That you don’t understand how capable and intelligent you are. » Read more
There’s been a theme lately as I’m listening to people’s troubles and giving out advice.
You can tell a lot about a situation by what their particular forgiveness orientation is, how their forgiveness is balanced between self and others.
In the most simple terms, a forgiveness balance can be expressed with the following equation: Forgiveness of self divided by forgiveness of others. » Read more
I’m currently prepping for a move from Ohio to Texas. There’s a lot to be done logistically since I have had to prepare my house here for sale — and as quickly as possible.
A lot of friends were really surprised by what I did first. They presumed the very first thing I’d do is pack up the house. » Read more
I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a mostly positive question! About feeeeelings. And communication styles.
I’ve currently got two lovely partners, one nesting and one not, and things are going great. Edging towards serious territory even. Nesting partner loves other partner and we’re all really good about the communication thing. » Read more
There’s always been a lot of pressure to express self-confidence a certain way, in grandiose inflated terms, something that goes a little like this:
“I know I’m terrific. Wonderful. The absolute best. No one and nothing’s gonna hold me back.”
But for me, it’s just not realistic. When I speak the words, » Read more
PQ 21.4 — In what ways do I care for myself? How do I care for the people around me?
The way that I care for myself and the way that I care for others is similar. I’ve come to realize something very important: A big part of love for me is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. » Read more
I’m standing in middle of the kitchen, clutching my head out of frustration. “Ugh,” I say. “I just wish I weren’t so freaking stupid sometimes.”
“Page,” Justin says.
I move my hand and look directly into his eyes. “What?”
“Stop being so mean to my friend.”
I crack a smile. » Read more
“I’ve been polyamorous for years,” she says. “And we’ve done so many things together. Wild adventures. I’ve seen her do sexual stuff plenty of times with others. It never bothered me. But I walked in on them in each other’s arms and… ugh.”
“And it pulled at you?” I say, nodding. » Read more