I knew I was in trouble the first time you held me. I felt like I was four years old again then and that my father was carrying me up the stairs because I’d fallen asleep on the couch.
You felt solid in a way that nothing had. Not for years.
I knew then that nothing would feel the same after you. » Read more
One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”
Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle, » Read more
PQ 17.6 — Where does my sense of security come from in my relationships? What am I willing to do to help my partners feel secure, and will those things come at a cost to any new relationships I may start?
“Remind me again: How many plans do you have in case I kick you out?” » Read more
I didn’t open up my marriage over a decade ago with an eye toward exploring kink. But that’s nonetheless what happened. After about a year of dating polyamorously, I eventually ended up with a girlfriend who knew some folks in the kink scene and had a strong kinky streak herself.
It was a surprising turn of events at the time. » Read more
Hi Page, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I particularly love your post on how to feel more secure in relationships. I did have one question though: How do you stop comparing yourself to others? I know it’s not doing me any favors to worry about how I measure up to my partner’s other partners. » Read more
PQ 12.1 — Under what circumstances do I feel it’s appropriate for me to use veto?
Welcome to Chapter 12!
I futz about on Quora from time to time. Not as busy or as active as some, for sure, but occasionally I get on there and answer questions. » Read more
“Is it normal to get the hang of the compersion thing when it comes to romantic relationships? But struggle when it comes to your friends?” she says.
“By struggling when it comes to your friends you mean…?”
“I just look around and see all these good things happening to my friends, » Read more
PQ 7.7 — What do I do to make sure it’s safe for my partners to communicate with me, and to let them know it’s safe?
The issue at the heart of today’s question is near and dear to my heart. As I wrote in PQ 4.5, » Read more
PQ 7.5 — What do I do to check in with my partners?
We’re Bad at Reading People’s Emotions
“What’s wrong?” Skyspook asks me.
I frown at his question, confused. “What?” I’m sitting on the couch, reading articles about the origin of various slang words. I’m not unhappy. » Read more
Is there a way to feel safe in poly? Right now I feel like I can only get that “security” being in a monogamous relationship. But I’m drawn to poly.
Yes, there is. It’s not instant, and it takes a lot of self-work, but with sustained practice, you can foster a sense of personal security. » Read more