How to Follow Your Gut Ethically

A circular yellow sign that says "neighbourhood watch" on it. In the middle of the sign is an image of 4 people
Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

Every so often, an unpleasant cycle repeats. Someone new hits my local kink and/or poly circles, someone that I’ll meet and instantly have a bad feeling about.

Exactly why I’ll get that hinky feeling will change each time. Maybe this new person is a little too insistent and seems prone to pushing past people’s non-sexual boundaries.  » Read more

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PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

a concrete barrier that has a sign on it that reads "safe area." The top of it has yellow currogated metal plates and some orange and white safety cones.
Image by Peter Kaminski / CC BY

PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

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It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.  » Read more

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PQ 12.8 — Can I think of a way to make a new partner feel safe in a relationship with me under these conditions?

a person with dark hair and a dark beard wearing a dark jacket, dark shirt, and jeans, standing next to a sign that says "Do not learn safety by accident." There appears to be snow on the ground and a fence in the background with other signs, like this is the entrance to an industrial area.
Image by Endlisnis / CC BY

PQ 12.8 — Can I think of a way to make a new partner feel safe in a relationship with me under these conditions?

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While the Chapter 12 questions have all been about veto, I really like this question in a broader sense, as a kind of self-check:

Is the way I’m treating my partner making them feel safe in the relationship?  » Read more

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