We’ve had a terrible evening. The next morning, we wake up already feeling exhausted. Full of regret.
The first thing you say to me is an apology. You tell me you feel awful. I try to let you off the hook, but you aren’t done feeling bad yet about what you said. So you make me really good coffee instead. » Read more
I’m not really a morning person and not really an evening person. I function about equally well all day long (even took a test that confirmed it). Sometimes I refer to myself as an asynchronous person. How I feel is more a function of how much sleep I got the night before than what time of day or night it is at the moment. » Read more
I can remember being a little girl and dreaming about what it would be like to have romantic relationships.
I was that kind of little girl. I longed to have someone with me at all times, who was deeply interested in me, what I had to say, what was going on in my life and in my heart (and I, » Read more
I don’t know why they have to make love stories so huge. So colorful. So improbable.
Why they have to pipe in dramatic music. Force a tug of war. Turn one person into the conquest and the other into a conqueror.
I don’t want a lover who is going to burn me to the ground on the way to winning my heart. » Read more
After spending two months apart from my domestic partner, while he started a new job cross country and I prepped our house for sale, I worried that things would be weird when I got here.
At first, when the fears were large enough to paralyze me, I said nothing. I didn’t dare speak that worry aloud. » Read more
I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?
There’s a certain kind of story I grew up believing: No sacrifice was too great for love. In fact, my own personal picture of love required a large sacrifice. » Read more
“Promiscuous” implies that I’m not choosy. In fact I’m very choosy. I just happen to have had a lot of choices.
How Do You Know If a Slut Loves You?
It is the giddy catch of breath. Their quick smile.
The way they look at you. Beyond pensive. » Read more
PQ 4.1 — Why do I have romantic relationships? What do I get out of them?
“Romance is stupid,” Seth said. “Everyone knows it’s just something Hallmark made up to sell more cards.”
“Really?” I said. It explained a lot but didn’t feel good to hear him say. » Read more
I am so in love.
There are days now that are so wonderful, so utterly filled with hope and beautiful things that a younger version of myself navigating unjust obstacles and experiencing constant disappointment would never believe it possible. And yet, here I am, 20 years ahead in the same life writing this, » Read more