Money has nothing to do with true love. At least that’s what I was raised to believe, that if you really loved someone it wouldn’t matter how much (or how little) money they had.
Nothing would matter but your love for one another.
You fell in love with the person, not the pocketbook. » Read more
A lot of people involuntarily cringe when you use the word “deserve,” regardless of context. Because the way most people talk about who’s deserving and who isn’t, there’s a deterministic bent to it, an underlying belief that some of us are born into this world entitled to happiness and prosperity. And others aren’t. Usually this is predicated on factors beyond our control: How rich our parents are, » Read more
PQ 23.6 — Do I give my partner space to conduct his relationship with my other partner, without trying to take sides in conflicts or carry messages between them?
“You were at Justin’s last night, weren’t you?” Michelle asks me.
I sigh. I wish I didn’t, » Read more
One night, my boyfriend Rob called me on the phone after his wife Michelle left for the library. It was a low-key conversation. Just chitchat, really. We weren’t even having phone sex or anything. At least not yet, although in recent weeks, we’d fallen into a habit of sliding into phone sex after initial introductions. » Read more
“I love you,” Skyspook said. “And that’s why if you go back there, back to that house, this relationship is over.”
“Yeah,” Seth said. “You’re not going back there.”
I’d just gotten done telling them (my husband and boyfriend) and two of our friends — Crock and Hilda — about an unfortunate incident with my other partner Rob. » Read more
PQ 10.5 — What happens if the agreement doesn’t work for my partners, or my partners’ partners?
“If Your Calendar Shows That You’re Available, I Expect You to Be Here”
“I looked at your calendar. There wasn’t anything on it,” Michelle said.
“Ah,” I said, not sure where she was going. » Read more
PQ 3.5 — Am I imposing consequences that will make others feel unsafe saying no to me?
When I first started talking with Rob, I knew that he and his wife Michelle had been polyamorous for about 8 years. I myself had only been at it a year. Although it had been a truly exciting year. » Read more
Polyamory is Harder for Reformed Cheaters
“Polyamory? That’s something that’s for reformed cheaters, right?”
And I want to say no when people say that, but it’s a great deal more complicated than that.
While there are plenty of people who become polyamorous without ever being physically unfaithful as monogamous people, there are others who did. » Read more
PQ 3.1 — Have I disclosed all relevant information to everyone affected by my decision? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
“You can’t just add on another relationship without consulting anybody. That’s not how poly fucking works!” » Read more
It’s difficult to know how much to share about what goes on (sexually and otherwise) with one of your partners with another. It’s like titrating the truth, just like you would medicine in a hospital — a truth drip.
On the surface, it seems so easy. But you gotta be careful! You can overdose by saying too much or by saying too little. » Read more