Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, nor acts the way you would act.
Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.
False consensus bias is a cognitive bias that causes people to see our own behavior and opinions as more common than it actually is. » Read more
When the COVID-19 pandemic first hit the United States, a lot of people were joking about an uptick in babies 9 months later. The idea was that with lockdown in place, we’d have very little to do. Few ways to entertain ourselves. And so people would resort to baby-making with full force.
As I write this, » Read more
I recently stumbled onto a study that explores something I don’t actually have much experience with: The experience of fantasizing about consensual non-monogamy. As some long-time readers may know, I wasn’t all that interested in open relationships before I suddenly found myself in one. Polyamory came and found me, not the other way around.
So I don’t have a lot of experience with fantasizing about consensual non-monogamy without having tried it. » Read more
As I’ve written about many times before, I grew up in a fairly conservative large Catholic family in the Maine woods. We didn’t talk about sex openly. When it was addressed, it was always uncomfortably and framed as something bad that I as a woman would go through in order to have what I as a woman should really want — » Read more
I am a champion crier. For real.
I cry when I’m happy. Cry when I’m sad. When I’m tired.
In my own case, it feels like there’s an emotional thermometer inside of me, and when the mercury in it rises enough (for whatever reason) to overwhelm the system and break the glass — » Read more
As I’ve written before, research has shown that the most resilient people aren’t always positive. “Always” is the key term here. A generally positive outlook is helpful in responding well to life’s challenges; the important point is that while resilient people are generally optimistic they also acknowledge reality.
There’s no amount of positive thinking that’ll let you just gloss over the bad parts and have you rebounding easily from them in a meaningful way. » Read more
As a war-weary female veteran of the Internet (been cruising since the good old dial-up BBS days, thankyouverymuch), I’ve seen my share of dick pics. While I have consensually received photographs of a lover’s genitalia (a completely different context), the vast majority of the dick pics I’ve looked at in my time have been unsolicited and from strangers. » Read more
There’s an old school of thought in business called “underpromise, overdeliver.”
Essentially, this advice says that what you should do is set customer expectations low so that you can not only meet them but exceed them. That it’s important not only to satisfy your customers but to thrill them.
It might take extra effort than simply setting up reasonable expectations and meeting them (the double think and communication required to have one internal story for employees and another external one for customers), » Read more
One of the things you learn very early on when you study psychological research is that what people say they do and what they actually do don’t always line up. In fact, they quite frequently differ. So as a researcher (who also happens to be a woman), it’s not surprising to me that it’s not all that uncommon for women to fake orgasms at least once in their life. » Read more
“The brain is designed with blind spots, optical and psychological, and one of its cleverest tricks is to confer on us the comforting illusion that we, personally, do not have any…’naive realism’ [is] the inescapable conviction that we perceive objects and events clearly, ‘as they really are. ‘ We assume that other reasonable people see things the same way we do. » Read more