People who can make fun of themselves have long been my favorite people. I’ve anecdotally found them to be much more confident and caring than people who only ever make fun of other people.
And making yourself the primary target of your humor makes sense for a few different reasons.
For starters, » Read more
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about ethical non-monogamy as a way of describing polyamory and other forms of open relationships. I’ve noticed you don’t do that. Instead, you say “consensual non-monogamy.” Why?
1. Ethics are subjective.
ethical (adjective) – relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these, » Read more
According to most surveys on the subject (e.g., Woolley et. al., 2011; Prentice et. al, 1978, etc.), about 85% of 5-year-old children believe that Santa Claus is real.
Researchers find that children typically begin to believe in Santa Claus when they’re 3 or 4 years old. And that this belief stays fairly strong until they are 8 years old, » Read more
It probably should have been a bigger early warning sign when I started dating my first husband. But he really didn’t like my friends.
“Why?” I asked him. “Why don’t you like them?”
He answered this with a shrug. “I just don’t,” he said. “I don’t like spending time around them.” » Read more
I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.
Or something equally unimpressive like, » Read more
A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.
Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:
- Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
- People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them
As the study authors wrote about the second point:
“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized, » Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
Science Isn’t About Hope, It’s About the Truth
“Any words of advice?” I asked my mentor. I was about to sit down and crunch the numbers on my very first research study.
And I’ll never forget what he said: “You get what you get, and you don’t complain.”
I cocked my head. » Read more
Quartz recently published a piece called “Turns out open relationships aren’t the most sexually satisfying.”
As Cassie Werber writes in the article:
Opening up a relationship can be about more than sex. Advocates talk about the deep trust forged by letting one’s partner have other relationships, » Read more
If you’re an ethically nonmonogamous person and haven’t heard of Terri Conley, PhD, you’re missing out. Dr. Conley is “a social psychologist, a feminist, and a sex researcher, but not necessarily in that order.”
And Conley has arguably done more than any other person for establishing a sound scientific basis that polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a viable way to conduct relationships. » Read more