The Conscientious Polyamorist

a large and very neatly organized and labeled spice collection sitting on a kitchen counter. Two electrical outlets are visible above the spices. The bottom edge of what appears to be a wooden cabinet frames the top of the image.
Image by Lenore Edman / CC BY

A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.

Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:

  1. Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
  2. People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them

As the study authors wrote about the second point:

“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized,  » Read more

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Are Open Relationships Less Sexually Satisfying or Is Dating?: An Alternate Hypothesis

a blue lightbulb
Image by Bill Smith / CC BY

Quartz recently published a piece called “Turns out open relationships aren’t the most sexually satisfying.”

As Cassie Werber writes in the article:

Opening up a relationship can be about more than sex. Advocates talk about the deep trust forged by letting one’s partner have other relationships,  » Read more

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Stigma, Funding, and Getting Off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley

a small green brain embroidered on a circular canvas, sitting on a wooden table
Image by Hey Paul Studios / CC BY

If you’re an ethically nonmonogamous person and haven’t heard of Terri Conley, PhD, you’re missing out. Dr. Conley is “a social psychologist, a feminist, and a sex researcher, but not necessarily in that order.”

And Conley has arguably done more than any other person for establishing a sound scientific basis that polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a viable way to conduct relationships.  » Read more

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Does Sleeping Around Make You More Empathetic?

a stack of small teal silk pillows. the top one reads "do not disturb" with flowers stamped next to it
Image by gabby-girl / CC BY

In an earlier post, “Altruism Is Freaking Dead Sexy, Giving Is Hot,” I discussed a recent research study which suggested that a giving nature could predispose a person to have more sex partners.

In “Being Slutty Made Me More Empathetic” sex journalist Kate Sloan argues that the conclusion of this study could have the causality quite backwards.  » Read more

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One thing leads to another

I have a dear friend F who is working on their* master’s thesis at the moment. We met recently for lunch with another academic kinkster friend, and F, who already had to postpone their thesis defense to summer session because of the IRB (internal ethics committee that needs to approve all research projects) moving at IRB speed (which is somewhere between drying paint and the pony express depending on day,  » Read more

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