One of the things you learn very early on when you study psychological research is that what people say they do and what they actually do don’t always line up. In fact, they quite frequently differ. So as a researcher (who also happens to be a woman), it’s not surprising to me that it’s not all that uncommon for women to fake orgasms at least once in their life. » Read more
“The brain is designed with blind spots, optical and psychological, and one of its cleverest tricks is to confer on us the comforting illusion that we, personally, do not have any…’naive realism’ [is] the inescapable conviction that we perceive objects and events clearly, ‘as they really are. ‘ We assume that other reasonable people see things the same way we do. » Read more
People who can make fun of themselves have long been my favorite people. I’ve anecdotally found them to be much more confident and caring than people who only ever make fun of other people.
And making yourself the primary target of your humor makes sense for a few different reasons.
For starters, » Read more
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about ethical non-monogamy as a way of describing polyamory and other forms of open relationships. I’ve noticed you don’t do that. Instead, you say “consensual non-monogamy.” Why?
1. Ethics are subjective.
ethical (adjective) – relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these, » Read more
Researchers find that children typically begin to believe in Santa Claus when they’re 3 or 4 years old. And that this belief stays fairly strong until they are 8 years old, » Read more
It probably should have been a bigger early warning sign when I started dating my first husband. But he really didn’t like my friends.
“Why?” I asked him. “Why don’t you like them?”
He answered this with a shrug. “I just don’t,” he said. “I don’t like spending time around them.” » Read more
I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.
Or something equally unimpressive like, » Read more
A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.
Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:
- Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
- People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them
As the study authors wrote about the second point:
“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized, » Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
Science Isn’t About Hope, It’s About the Truth
“Any words of advice?” I asked my mentor. I was about to sit down and crunch the numbers on my very first research study.
And I’ll never forget what he said: “You get what you get, and you don’t complain.”
I cocked my head. » Read more