A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.
Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:
- Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
- People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them
As the study authors wrote about the second point:
“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized, » Read more
“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.
“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.
“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.
I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary. » Read more
Science Isn’t About Hope, It’s About the Truth
“Any words of advice?” I asked my mentor. I was about to sit down and crunch the numbers on my very first research study.
And I’ll never forget what he said: “You get what you get, and you don’t complain.”
I cocked my head. » Read more
Quartz recently published a piece called “Turns out open relationships aren’t the most sexually satisfying.”
As Cassie Werber writes in the article:
Opening up a relationship can be about more than sex. Advocates talk about the deep trust forged by letting one’s partner have other relationships, » Read more
If you’re an ethically nonmonogamous person and haven’t heard of Terri Conley, PhD, you’re missing out. Dr. Conley is “a social psychologist, a feminist, and a sex researcher, but not necessarily in that order.”
And Conley has arguably done more than any other person for establishing a sound scientific basis that polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a viable way to conduct relationships. » Read more
When you first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. And then after a while, even a great relationship has a way of becoming routine. Even predictable.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are 7 ways to make an old relationship feel shiny and new: » Read more
In an earlier post, “Altruism Is Freaking Dead Sexy, Giving Is Hot,” I discussed a recent research study which suggested that a giving nature could predispose a person to have more sex partners.
In “Being Slutty Made Me More Empathetic” sex journalist Kate Sloan argues that the conclusion of this study could have the causality quite backwards. » Read more
Compersion is Empathy
When you get down to it, compersion (i.e., delight in the happiness of others) is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations.
Now, I’m not trying to take away all the fun words. I love neologisms as much as the next person. » Read more
You might be hung up on an ex and wish you weren’t. Or maybe you’re just not feeling it anymore for someone, and you want to bring the fire. Wouldn’t it be great if we could turn loving feelings up and down like a dial? Maybe something like the mood organ in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? » Read more
I have a dear friend F who is working on their* master’s thesis at the moment. We met recently for lunch with another academic kinkster friend, and F, who already had to postpone their thesis defense to summer session because of the IRB (internal ethics committee that needs to approve all research projects) moving at IRB speed (which is somewhere between drying paint and the pony express depending on day, » Read more