Huh. Apparently Optimists Live Longer.

a picture of a smiling sun drawn on a blackboard
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

As I’ve written before, research has shown that the most resilient people aren’t always positive. “Always” is the key term here. A generally positive outlook is helpful in responding well to life’s challenges; the important point is that while resilient people are generally optimistic they also acknowledge reality.

There’s no amount of positive thinking that’ll let you just gloss over the bad parts and have you rebounding easily from them in a meaningful way.  » Read more

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What Kind of Man Sends Women Unsolicited Dick Pics and Why?

a green stamp that says "censored"
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

As a war-weary female veteran of the Internet (been cruising since the good old dial-up BBS days, thankyouverymuch), I’ve seen my share of dick pics. While I have consensually received photographs of a lover’s genitalia (a completely different context), the vast majority of the dick pics I’ve looked at in my time have been unsolicited and from strangers.  » Read more

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It’s Better to Just Keep Your Promises Than to Try to Really Wow People

two toy figurines of Joker from Batman. The one on the right is small and cute and childlike. The one on the right is a wiry adult looking version of the Joker.
Image by JD Hancock / CC BY

There’s an old school of thought in business called “underpromise, overdeliver.”

Essentially, this advice says that what you should do is set customer expectations low so that you can not only meet them but exceed them. That it’s important not only to satisfy your customers but to thrill them.

It might take extra effort than simply setting up reasonable expectations and meeting them (the double think and communication required to have one internal story for employees and another external one for customers),  » Read more

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How Commonly Do Women Fake Orgasms and Why?

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

One of the things you learn very early on when you study psychological research is that what people say they do and what they actually do don’t always line up. In fact, they quite frequently differ. So as a researcher (who also happens to be a woman), it’s not surprising to me that it’s not all that uncommon for women to fake orgasms at least once in their life.  » Read more

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It’s Humbling to Realize We Do Not See Things As They Really Are, But We Don’t

a fuzzy light shining behind a curtain that's been pulled back
Image by Tiffa Day / CC BY

“The brain is designed with blind spots, optical and psychological, and one of its cleverest tricks is to confer on us the comforting illusion that we, personally, do not have any…’naive realism’ [is] the inescapable conviction that we perceive objects and events clearly, ‘as they really are. ‘ We assume that other reasonable people see things the same way we do.  » Read more

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3 Reasons Why I Prefer to Call It Consensual Non-Monogamy

an assortment of 4 various-sized Lego hearts. Their colors: white, red, yellow, blue.
Image by Bill Ward / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about ethical non-monogamy as a way of describing polyamory and other forms of open relationships. I’ve noticed you don’t do that. Instead, you say “consensual non-monogamy.” Why? 

1. Ethics are subjective.

ethical (adjective) – relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these,  » Read more

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Why A Lot of Children Stop Believing In Santa Claus

it's a statue of a bust of Santa Claus wearing sunglasses
Image by Dennis Hill / CC BY

According to most surveys on the subject (e.g., Woolley et. al., 2011; Prentice et. al, 1978, etc.), about 85% of 5-year-old children believe that Santa Claus is real.

Researchers find that children typically begin to believe in Santa Claus when they’re 3 or 4 years old. And that this belief stays fairly strong until they are 8 years old,  » Read more

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