For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

a closeup of a pair of glasses
Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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What I Did When a Powerful Person Said Bad, Untrue Things About Me in Public

a scared emoji
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s been a weird sea change for me the past few years, building up an online presence. It wasn’t like this at all in the past. I worked on the sidelines of publishing, mostly as an editor at some literary magazines with occasional publications in little magazines that nobody really read. Won some writing awards only a handful of people cared about (but which did help me pay my rent,  » Read more

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How to Follow Your Gut Ethically

A circular yellow sign that says "neighbourhood watch" on it. In the middle of the sign is an image of 4 people
Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

Every so often, an unpleasant cycle repeats. Someone new hits my local kink and/or poly circles, someone that I’ll meet and instantly have a bad feeling about.

Exactly why I’ll get that hinky feeling will change each time. Maybe this new person is a little too insistent and seems prone to pushing past people’s non-sexual boundaries.  » Read more

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No One Wants to Be the Bitter Ex… But Sometimes We All Are

teal bowl and saucer filled with lemons

Photo by liz west / CC BY

A fifth reason came to me as to Why So Few Polyamorists Write in Great Detail (aside from through anonymous or near-anonymous outlets, as PolyLogGal so astutely pointed out in her comments on yesterday’s post). I also thought this might be a good opportunity to talk a bit about my mistakes and times where I’ve been the villain in someone else’s story,  » Read more

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