PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

Text that reads "The brown quick Fox jummps over the la zy dog dog" with red proofreader's marks that indicate that it should actually read like the following "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Image by volkspider / CC BY

PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

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He’s just gotten done telling me about his relationship agreement. Complaining, really. About what he doesn’t like about it. And there’s a lot.

“I get where you’re coming from,” I say. “Have you talked to your partners about changing your relationship agreement?”  » Read more

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PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

a black background with white block letters that says "TRY AGAIN!"
Image by Sean MacEntee / CC BY

PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

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As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, there isn’t just one right way to form a polyamorous relationship agreement.

Bottom line: It’s about finding what works.

But there are some elements that successful relationship agreement negotiations tend to share.  » Read more

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Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers

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Image by Janice Waltzer / CC BY

So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?

I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested.  » Read more

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Mind the Whiplash: Managing the Stress of Renegotiation

a bullrider riding a bull at a rodeo with a large audience. the rider is wearing a cowboy hat. the image catches him in mid-buck of the bull, so he has a startled expression on his face.
Image by Paula R. Lively / CC BY

So you’ve taken the leap into polyamory. Worked hard on your insecurities. Found partners to explore relationships with. Heck, you’ve even negotiated effective relationship agreements.

You’re living the dream!

And they all live happily ever after, right?

Well. Not so fast.

It’s very common to find that your relationship agreement works out differently in practice than it did in theory.  » Read more

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