PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

Text that reads "The brown quick Fox jummps over the la zy dog dog" with red proofreader's marks that indicate that it should actually read like the following "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Image by volkspider / CC BY

PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

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He’s just gotten done telling me about his relationship agreement. Complaining, really. About what he doesn’t like about it. And there’s a lot.

“I get where you’re coming from,” I say. “Have you talked to your partners about changing your relationship agreement?”  » Read more

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PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

a sculpture that is the bust of the philosopher Heraclitus, the philosopher. He looks like a man with a full beard.
Image by Michael Coté / CC BY

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

Individual Rules Are Like Mini-Agreements

As I wrote recently, these days I’m a little leery of “rules,” while at the same time understanding how they were absolutely invaluable when I was a brand new poly person.  » Read more

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PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

abstract image of interlocked orange semi-circles in kind of a maze-like fashion superimposed over a smoky grey background
Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

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As I mentioned in an earlier post, agreements that don’t take the needs of everyone they affect into consideration aren’t ideal.  » Read more

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