A Valentine to Myself

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

Mae West

There’s something absolutely terrifying about radical independence. It’s not a message our culture encourages – stand up for yourself, be strong. So many traditions are in bed with lies that are bundled together and pre-packaged, everything with a price tag.  » Read more

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sub frenzy

He sees me outlining the cartoonish bruises on my breast. I hear his laugh and became totally aware of what I’m doing. I must be getting that dreamy look on my face again. He leans in, his hot breath on my neck. “Awww… you’ll be lording over those all week. Every time you glimpse your cleavage.  » Read more

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Welcome to Fight Club

I’ve been wanting to write this essay for a while, stopped and started. Floundered.

Because while I feel strongly about the following issue, I find myself reluctant to admit openly that Skyspook and I have had disagreements. Which is ludicrous, really. But I’m a victim of social pressure. So many times have I heard people in relationships proudly proclaiming,  » Read more

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Better Than a Friend

So much work has already been done, sorting out my own head, my feelings, thought patterns, behaviors. And so much lies ahead.

Today, a single thought crystallizes into word form, “He treats me better than a friend, and this is what shocks me.”

I’ve felt this, thought it wordlessly, nebulously, without form –  » Read more

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Respect

I’ll never forget that night. November 1999, my first semester of college.

I had gone to a party hosted by the music frat. I knew a lot of people there because I played in the jazz ensemble and orchestra, even though I wasn’t in any Greek groups. I was there with J, this beautiful genderqueer boy I had met through the atheist group on campus (having become quite enamored with secular ethics),  » Read more

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It Always Felt Like An Affair

And in hindsight, that should have told me something. “She doesn’t have to know how serious we are yet. She just wouldn’t understand.”

I thought it was romantic that he would lie to her by omission. That we’d have little secrets that only the two of us would know. I thought they were harmless and bred intimacy.  » Read more

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Sincerity

I was at a backyard bonfire party many years ago when I saw a friend vigorously fellate a hot dog. I know. No big deal, right? You might be wondering why I remember something so mundane.

The trouble was that my friend was asexual to the point of being sex negative and despised giving head.  » Read more

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