In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”
Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out. » Read more
When it comes to conflict in relationships, it isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. What. How. Why.
Because there isn’t a relationship that doesn’t eventually have a conflict.
True, I’ve found that the best relationships are easy in the beginning, any lumps or bumps smoothed over by a wash of flattering NRE. » Read more
A while back, a friend sent me a video in which a person attempts to feed a gold bar into an industrial shredder. After several tries, the gold bar is pretty ragged along one edge, yet more or less intact. It has survived the shredder.
Well, I’ll be.
It becomes extra wild when you consider one fact: This grade of industrial shredder can literally chew up a truck. » Read more
“Oh shit,” I say, realizing what I’ve just said sounds terrible. “I really didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m sorry.”
The pause between when I say that and when he speaks seems to last forever. But finally he breaks the silence. “It’s okay. I understand.”
It’s probably a minor thing to him. » Read more
Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.
The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it. » Read more
When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.
Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″ » Read more
I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.
The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.
But I climbed in beside her, » Read more
I recently published a piece called “There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know.” That article attracted a lot of attention and resulted in many comments and private messages. For the most part, its reception was very positive. I heard from a bunch of folks who were happy to see some ace representation, » Read more
My husband Justin is the kind of person who doesn’t like it when you read things aloud to him. When given the choice, he nearly always prefers to read the words himself. Similarly, he’s not someone who often stands and reads things aloud.
So when he started roaring with laughter and insisted he had to read something to me, » Read more
I spent many years working as a professional musician. Like a lot of folks, I played several instruments. Piano was mostly a private endeavor, primarily for composing and arranging, but ever so occasionally I’d do a solo engagement. Or play at church.
I also played the trumpet in pep band. But that was mostly because hanging out at games was so boring and the music so basic that I would have gone mad otherwise. » Read more