A Resilient Relationship Is Strong Like Gold Instead of Strong Like Steel

a gold bar
Image by Sprott Money / CC BY

A while back, a friend sent me a video in which a person attempts to feed a gold bar into an industrial shredder. After several tries, the gold bar is pretty ragged along one edge, yet more or less intact. It has survived the shredder.

Well, I’ll be.

It becomes extra wild when you consider one fact: This grade of industrial shredder can literally chew up a truck.  » Read more

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Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?

a snail on concrete
Image by fdecomite / CC BY

Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.

The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it.  » Read more

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In Some Relationships, So Much Energy Gets Wasted on Debating About Who Is Right or Wrong Instead of Learning to Manage Differences 

a black cat sitting on a stepstool
Image by Laura LaRose / CC BY

When I first moved into the house I’m living into now, there were three other people living with me, one woman and two men. And they were all taller than me. A lot taller than me.

Now, I’m not exactly a short person. On a good day, in flat feet, I’m somewhere between 5’5″  » Read more

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It’s Important to Remember That Reassurance Is a Form of Persuasion

two toys; they are both red and look person-like but with big blocky heads. One has the letter J on its head in yellow and one has G on its head. G is comforting J who seems a little down.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.

The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.

But I climbed in beside her,  » Read more

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In Your Relationship, Are You the One Releasing Crickets or the One Finding Them?

a cricket on a leaf
Image by Dustin Iskandar / CC BY

My husband Justin is the kind of person who doesn’t like it when you read things aloud to him. When given the choice, he nearly always prefers to read the words himself. Similarly, he’s not someone who often stands and reads things aloud.

So when he started roaring with laughter and insisted he had to read something to me,  » Read more

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When It Comes to Love, It’s All About That Base

a silhouette of a person playing upright bass
Image by Joao Vicente / CC BY

I spent many years working as a professional musician. Like a lot of folks, I played several instruments. Piano was mostly a private endeavor, primarily for composing and arranging, but ever so occasionally I’d do a solo engagement. Or play at church.

I also played the trumpet in pep band. But that was mostly because hanging out at games was so boring and the music so basic that I would have gone mad otherwise.  » Read more

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I’d Been Dreaming of Home an Awfully Long Time, But I’m Glad It Took a While to Find It

a closeup of a dandelion flower gone to seed
Image by cattan2011 / CC BY

Jealousy is in some measure just and reasonable, since it merely aims at keeping something that belongs to us or we think belongs to us, whereas envy is a frenzy that cannot bear anything that belongs to others.

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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I was alone a lot when I was growing up.  » Read more

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