It’s Possible to Force Yourself To Be Something You’re Not (Especially Short Term), But It’s Painful

an empty room
Image by Ian Burt / CC BY

As I write this post, my house is finally on the market. When the realtor stepped back into the house, he was bowled over by all the renovations that we made since the last time he visited.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into that meeting with him. Didn’t know if he’d recommend more improvements.  » Read more

Continue Reading

When You’re Used to Bad Relationships, It’s Easy for Something to Feel “Too Good to Be True”

Two equestrian riders, on horseback, in low tide reflections at sunset on Morro Strand State Beach 29 Oct. 2008. Michael "Mike" L. Baird Canon SD950 point-and-shoot snapshot. This photo has some Lightroom 2 gradient treatment applied: gold bottom-to -center; blue top-to-center toning.
Image by Mike Baird / CC BY

In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”

Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out.  » Read more

Continue Reading

A Resilient Relationship Is Strong Like Gold Instead of Strong Like Steel

a gold bar
Image by Sprott Money / CC BY

A while back, a friend sent me a video in which a person attempts to feed a gold bar into an industrial shredder. After several tries, the gold bar is pretty ragged along one edge, yet more or less intact. It has survived the shredder.

Well, I’ll be.

It becomes extra wild when you consider one fact: This grade of industrial shredder can literally chew up a truck.  » Read more

Continue Reading

Why Do Some People Say They Want to Break Up With Someone For a Long Time & Then Never Do It?

a snail on concrete
Image by fdecomite / CC BY

Why do people say they want to break up with someone for a year plus but never do it? a friend asks in a Facebook status.

The answers flood in. Some say that being single sucks and a bad relationship could be preferable to it. Others take the position that it could be an aversion to dating new people and all the stress and confusion that comes with it.  » Read more

Continue Reading
1 2 3 29