Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.
People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy. » Read more
There’s been a trend that’s been all the rage lately in self-help circles. One that advocates for cleaning house. Severing all your toxic social connections and being able to move forward unfettered, unencumbered.
Living your best life.
Do they bring you joy? Keep them. Do they cause you grief? Chuck them. » Read more
I’ve always been someone who posts positive things about partners on social media. Always.
I post positive things when things are going well. I post positive things when they’re not.
It’s a funny thing because when you’re a relationship writer, people expect you to let it all hang out. For you to have no boundaries about what you say. » Read more
I knew I was in trouble the first time we went to bed, and afterwards he sighed and said, “Well, I guess I have to go down on you now.”
“What?” I said, definitely not in the mood for sexy time anymore. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that kind of attention, but that’s a heck of a tone.” » Read more
I’ve been thinking about it for several years now, how easy it was for you to tell me you hated all of my friends. And how you expected that not to hurt.
“I have enough friends,” you said.
And little by little, I spent less and less time with anyone else other than you. » Read more
As I write this post, my house is finally on the market. When the realtor stepped back into the house, he was bowled over by all the renovations that we made since the last time he visited.
I wasn’t sure what to expect going into that meeting with him. Didn’t know if he’d recommend more improvements. » Read more
As I’ve been packing and unpacking, cleaning, painting, and organizing, I will typically have on either a TV or my cell phone streaming a TV show. It keeps me company and makes it so I’m significantly less bored.
So even though I’ve been really busy the past month or so, I’m watching — » Read more
The bed feels wrong without you in it. I put a bunch of things in it to help. Clutter, basically. Over on your side. So that there’s some resistance when I try to move the covers. But it isn’t the same.
It took me about a week to get used to the way that this house sounds without you in it. » Read more
I’ve always been a fan of before and after photos. I was fed a steady diet of them — weight loss progress photos, sure, since those are everywhere.
But I’ve also seen them a lot in regard to home makeovers: Room renovations, redecorating attempts, organizing efforts. In this context, before and after photos are such magic. » Read more
In an earlier piece, I wrote about the homing pigeon effect, i.e., “good things are hard to screw up.”
Good relationships typically feel very easy in the beginning. A mix of the biochemical attachment cocktail of New Relationship Energy and actual compatibility washes over any small flaws that would otherwise jump right out. » Read more