Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

two drawings of anime heroes. The one on the left has blond hair and is sitting on a green dragon. The one on the left has brown hair and is standing atop a red toad.
Image by Taro Urata / CC BY

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called  I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:

Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now.  » Read more

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Ask Page: How Do I Help My New Dominant Feel Special?

a bunch of lemons slice stacked on top of each other in an overlapping way so you can see many of them. One slice near the bottom right corner has pink flesh inside instead of yellow and sticks out dramatically
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

My husband and I are polyamorous. With my husband, Brett† , I co-parent, co-habitate, share finances, own businesses together. With one of my boyfriends, Dale† , I have a newish D/s dynamic that mimics some aspects of a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship.

Because the power exchange dynamic with Dale and I evolved from just bedroom play to something more serious,  » Read more

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PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

Text that reads "The brown quick Fox jummps over the la zy dog dog" with red proofreader's marks that indicate that it should actually read like the following "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Image by volkspider / CC BY

PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?

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He’s just gotten done telling me about his relationship agreement. Complaining, really. About what he doesn’t like about it. And there’s a lot.

“I get where you’re coming from,” I say. “Have you talked to your partners about changing your relationship agreement?”  » Read more

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PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

a blackboard with the chalk outline of two hands engaged in a handshake superimposed over a rainbow tinted map of the world
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

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Ooooo… This one is a flashback:  PQ 10.3 – Does everyone affected by the agreement have the opportunity to be involved in setting its terms?

In that piece, I talk about a situation in which you answer an ad to live with two roommates only to find that they’ve unilaterally decided that not only are you paying a third of the rent (which is fair),  » Read more

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