I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:
Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now. » Read more
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
-A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
Big Celebrities and Yellow Starbursts
Back when I attended the University of Maine, » Read more
PQ 19.1 — How do I define “sex”? What activities are sex? What aren’t?
Yes, this question! Everyone, take a look at this question. You would think it’s straightforward, no? And that people would agree on the answer.
But no, they do not.
Famously, » Read more
My husband and I are polyamorous. With my husband, Brett† , I co-parent, co-habitate, share finances, own businesses together. With one of my boyfriends, Dale† , I have a newish D/s dynamic that mimics some aspects of a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship.
Because the power exchange dynamic with Dale and I evolved from just bedroom play to something more serious, » Read more
My husband and I have started practicing polyamory for a little over four months now. It has come very naturally to me, but not my husband. I have had a partner for about three months and my husband goes through phases of being supportive and then being negative, creating “boundaries” that previously did not exist, » Read more
PQ 14.10 — Is this agreement serving the people involved, or are the people serving it?
He’s just gotten done telling me about his relationship agreement. Complaining, really. About what he doesn’t like about it. And there’s a lot.
“I get where you’re coming from,” I say. “Have you talked to your partners about changing your relationship agreement?” » Read more
PQ 14.9 — Has anyone been harmed by this agreement?
Godzilla rampages through the city, toppling buildings, pulling down high-voltage power lines. Electricity spits along the pavement like an exclamation point.
Godzilla beats his chest. Roars.
Under his gigantic feet, citizens scurry every which way. » Read more
PQ 14.8 — Has this agreement been successful in meeting the needs it was intended to meet?
In a previous life, I worked as a manager in organizational development. A consultant to Human Resources professionals at various companies.
In that capacity, I had a large staff of trainers that I oversaw, » Read more
PQ 14.6 — Can the agreement be renegotiated?
One of my favorite things to do in order to slow down, unwind, and gain some perspective is to star gaze. Sometimes it’s in the backyard fighting the light pollution of the city, but, more ideally, I find solace in the relative blackness of a dark sky park, » Read more
PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?
Ooooo… This one is a flashback: PQ 10.3 – Does everyone affected by the agreement have the opportunity to be involved in setting its terms?
In that piece, I talk about a situation in which you answer an ad to live with two roommates only to find that they’ve unilaterally decided that not only are you paying a third of the rent (which is fair), » Read more