“I Just Want to Talk About It to Prove to Myself I Can”

a hand holding a ceramic heart, in front of what appears to be a rocky beach-y background
Image by thechallahblog / CC BY

I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.

Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up.  » Read more

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When You’re Good at Providing Reassurance, Some People Don’t Even Know You’re Doing It

closeup of a blooming cactus
Image by Renee Grayson / CC BY

“I really worry about you,” she said. “You’re so insecure. So in need of reassurance. So weak.”

I blinked my eyes twice in slow motion, feeling a wave of shock wash over me. True, I’ve always been a sensitive person. This wasn’t the first time in my life someone had said something like this to me.  » Read more

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Giving Reassurance Is Like Giving Head

one cartoon human figure reassuring another that appears to be crying
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Why I Don’t Vaguepost When I’m Sad

Like anyone else, I hit bad patches. I get sad. Run into trouble inside my own head.

I  had a particularly awful spell a little while back, brought on by some work I was doing sorting through childhood trauma. The kind of thing that’s always with me but is normally tucked away in tightly sealed boxes in some remote corner of my brain.  » Read more

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It’s Important to Remember That Reassurance Is a Form of Persuasion

two toys; they are both red and look person-like but with big blocky heads. One has the letter J on its head in yellow and one has G on its head. G is comforting J who seems a little down.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I got my start with courting women by comforting one who’d had her heart broken.

The surroundings were far from ideal, not anyone’s idea of romantic. I’d spotted a small figure curled up in a bathroom stall. Sobbing because the boy she liked had gone off with one of my friends instead.

But I climbed in beside her,  » Read more

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When Dating Someone New Gives You a Better Look at Your Own Annoying Behaviors & Makes You Appreciate Your Other Partners More

a vintage drawing of a lady looking at herself in a mirror
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I was as hard headed as they come when asking for what I needed. In my case, it was being fed a steady stream of compliments by anyone I dated. It wasn’t enough to receive the same one over and over. No, I wanted a carefully curated mix. “I love you” or “you’re cute” would barely register.  » Read more

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