Not Every Message Is Meant for You… and That’s Okay

a globe
Image by Wendy Cope / CC BY

Once upon a time, I thought the world revolved around me.

What a thing to say, right? Such arrogance.

A lot of times when people say that someone thinks the world revolves around them, they mean that the person expects special favors or extra good treatment from the universe.

I’ve never really experienced that kind of feeling when it came to the world revolving around me.  » Read more

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Fight, Flight, Freeze… Fawn?: Responding to Danger by Becoming a People Pleaser

a sign that's broken that says "yes"
Image by Anthony Clearn / CC BY

Many long-time readers of the blog know that I identify as a recovering people pleaser. It’s been a long road to recovery, bolstered by an excellent support system and a round of assertiveness therapy several years back.

Growing up under the thumb of a difficult mercurial parent, I learned early on how to anticipate her needs and accommodate them,  » Read more

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Bargains with God, Bargains with the Devil

a cloud that's shaped like an angel
Image by Nicolas Raymond / CC BY

“Worrying is praying for stuff you don’t want.”

Jen Sincero

Bargains with God

When I was little, I used to make little bargains with God. Especially on long car rides. I’d ask God to introduce himself in a way that I could understand but nothing so dramatic as to blow his cover or make it so that others wouldn’t have to have faith in order to keep believing in him.  » Read more

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Could Procrastination Sometimes Be a Form of Masochism?

a board of multicolored post-it notes that all say "do it!" in marker
Image by Vic / CC BY

It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.

You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person.  » Read more

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PQ 1.7 – If I am already in a relationship, does my desire for others come from my dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship? If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?

"I'm not Needy, I'm Wanty" written in fancy script

If I am already in a relationship, does my desire for others come from my dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship? If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?

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I addressed this in an earlier essay I wrote called “Needy”  » Read more

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