It’s curious. Many times when I disclose to someone that my background is in psychology, they immediately get defensive.
I can visibly see the difference in someone’s posture. They become guarded, worried that I’m going to analyze them.
That, in essence, I’m scanning them for defects. A bit like one of those space-age devices designed to examine the newly introduced alien artifact for signs of potential disease. » Read more
In the 90s, I lived with a wide variety of people. Sometimes I stayed with relatives, but other times I crashed at friends’ houses, friends who were still living with their parents, since their teenaged home lives were more conventional than my own.
At one house I crashed with college professors who had the world’s smallest, » Read more
I spent a couple of years seriously studying medical terminology, preparing to work as a medical transcriptionist. Anatomy & Physiology. Pharmacology. A multi-semester course on Disease Processes.
I noticed quickly that some of the students were troubled about what we were learning about the myriad ways that the human body can break down. » Read more
You might be hung up on an ex and wish you weren’t. Or maybe you’re just not feeling it anymore for someone, and you want to bring the fire. Wouldn’t it be great if we could turn loving feelings up and down like a dial? Maybe something like the mood organ in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? » Read more
The trouble with lacking healthy boundaries is that you can get away without having them for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean a REALLY long time. We’re talking decades.
If you’re a doormat or a people pleaser, you didn’t become one overnight. You grew into this from your social environment, » Read more
It’s a sad fact of life that we fall apart in front of those we feel safest with.
We keep it together in front of the boss, but when we get home from the office, we break into tears and snap at our love(s) about dinner not being ready. Or it’s their day to fall apart, » Read more
Key Things to Keep in Mind About Happiness
(from Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert)
1) We often exaggerate in imagining the long-term emotional effects certain events will have on us.
2) Most of us tend to have a basic level of happiness which we revert to eventually. » Read more
Staying positive is my major goal — if I were a video game protagonist that would be the main quest that advances the plot. However, I have noticed the maximum depth of existential angst of which I am capable steadily increases year by year. On the same hand, so does joy. It’s curious, this parameter growth. » Read more
I’ve known more than a couple folks in my day who prided themselves on being supremely rational, in control, unemotional. They were stoics. They thought they were tough.
All went well until they hit a snag, encountered a conflict. And then it became painfully obvious that they were full of it.
This is because avoiding emotions can cause them to come out sideways later. » Read more
Photo by nathal / CC BY
I’m often asked by people newer to poly – how do I make sure I’m never jealous or uncomfortable?
The quick answer is that you don’t. When you dig into things, that’s pretty unsurprising. Anything that involves other people has the potential to have its uncomfortable moments (heck, » Read more