It’s So Easy to Get Your Own Thoughts & Feelings Mixed Up With Someone Else’s, for Better or Worse

a mop on a wood laminate floor
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s Sunday morning. I’m wearing sweatpants, a T-shirt I don’t care about, and a head wrap that holds my hair out of my face. It’s not glamorous, but it’s functional. I’m dressed that way because I’ve been cleaning. Nothing major but the kind of light cleaning that doesn’t wait for a weekday to be done.  » Read more

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Shooting the Messenger: When You Tell People Bad News, They Like You Less

silhouette of an archer holding a bow and arrow
Image by Andreas Øverland / CC BY

It can be tough when you have a difficult message to deliver. Especially unpleasant news.

I’ve definitely been in situations when I had to be the one to deliver bad news and then promptly had my head bitten off by the recipient — even in situations where I didn’t do anything and all of the action involved third parties!  » Read more

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Swing and a Miss: Gaslighting, Projection & Introjection

Much has been made recently of gaslighting, and it’s a very important concept to keep track of, boundary policing being of paramount importance especially in those who have multiple relationships. Here’s a good essay on gaslighting: http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2011/11/02/on-gasslighting/

Briefly: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which the target is continually forced to question their own sanity.  » Read more

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