PQ 18.7 — Do I fully understand my partner’s choice to be monogamous or polyamorous, and am I able to accept my partner for who she is?

a signpost with two arrows. The top is green and reads Choice. The bottom is Red and reads choice. The green arrow points left, the red arrows points right.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 18.7 — Do I fully understand my partner’s choice to be monogamous or polyamorous, and am I able to accept my partner for who she is?

*

Ah! Very interesting. I of course didn’t write this question — these are all questions taken from the seminal polyamory text More than Two,  » Read more

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PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

a child in a red jacket and black pants wearing a white, pink, and black bike helmet. The child is sitting on a bike with training wheels cycling down a tree-lined street
Image by MIKI Yoshihito / CC BY

PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?

*

It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect,  » Read more

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PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

a sculpture that is the bust of the philosopher Heraclitus, the philosopher. He looks like a man with a full beard.
Image by Michael Coté / CC BY

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

Individual Rules Are Like Mini-Agreements

As I wrote recently, these days I’m a little leery of “rules,” while at the same time understanding how they were absolutely invaluable when I was a brand new poly person.  » Read more

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“That’s Not Poly”: Polyamorous Sex Negativity and the Relationship Escalator

a rainbow escalator (used to signify the diversity of relationships that are possible if we get away from sex negativity in polyamory)
Image by Graham C99 / CC BY

Polyamorous Controversy Over “Benefits”

As readers responded to our recent post 7 Common Myths About Being Polyamorous on social media, one debunked myth quickly emerged as the most controversial:

4. If you have flings, you’re not polyamorous.

Some other folks may feel differently about this, but for me polyamory is about radical openness to whatever happens to develop.  » Read more

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Assertiveness as Honesty Exchange: Sender to Receiver and Back Again

the recycling symbol (3 areas all pointing towards one another, forming a triangle) with white arrows on a green background
Image by Nicolas Raymond / CC BY

When many folks think of assertiveness, they think of sender skills. An assertive person is one who communicates their thoughts and feelings confidently. Openly.

And while this is true, it’s not the entire picture. In practice, the most difficult part of assertive communication is the receiver half.

Because an assertive communicator is not only open to speaking their own truths —  » Read more

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