There *Are* Asexual Polyamorous People, You Know

it's the asexual flag, which is 4 horizontal stripes, top to bottom colors: black, gray, white, purple
Image by Public Domain (simple geometry) / PD

A lot of people assume that this idea that polyamory is about having loving, committed relationships is all a bunch of hooey.

Secretly, they argue, deep down inside, all polyamorists are looking for is sex. It’s about the sex. The ease of having more access to greater sexual variety. And the ability to have super adventurous experiences like orgies.  » Read more

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I Have an Extreme, Possibly Irrational, Hatred of Online Dating

a person pictured on a laptop reaches out of the laptop and shakes hands with the person on the other side
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Confession: I have an extreme, possibly irrational, hatred of online dating.

I Didn’t Try Online Dating Until 2009 After I Had My First Polyamorous Relationships

I started my very first serious long-term monogamous relationship in the spring of 2001. Back then, online dating certainly existed, but not many people were using it. Online dating was a lot more niche —  » Read more

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

two drawings of anime heroes. The one on the left has blond hair and is sitting on a green dragon. The one on the left has brown hair and is standing atop a red toad.
Image by Taro Urata / CC BY

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called  I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:

Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now.  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

a photograph of a sunrise over the Alps
Image by AirHaake / CC BY

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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