I’ve Been Poly My Whole Life — Polymathic
I’m different than a lot of other polyamorous educators because I haven’t been polyamorous my whole life. In fact, polyamory wasn’t even something I seriously considered until I was in my late 20s. Before then, I hadn’t even heard of the word. And I couldn’t fathom how non-monogamous relationships could be conducted in a way that was respectful and mutually beneficial for everyone involved. » Read more
It can be a tricky rite of passage in polyamory: Being alone for the evening for the first time while your nesting partner has a date with someone else.
I’ll be the first to admit that it was brutally difficult for me at first when I experienced this rite of passage many years ago, » Read more
One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”
Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle, » Read more
PQ 18.8 — Can I build a relationship that respects the agency not only of each of us, but of others who are involved as well?
“You know, it’s funny,” I say to Justin as we’re out taking a walk together. “Sometimes I’ll get asked questions about you when I do interviews. » Read more
“Page, how are you doing?” she asks, and before I can answer, she adds. “You know, it’s really been too long.”
“Oh you’re probably right,” I say. “Fair warning: My sense of time has been all messed up lately. I think that things that happened 6 months ago just happened and that last week was last year.” » Read more
“You know, I love my diet,” she says. “I’m down 30 pounds. Never felt healthier. But you know, sometimes I have the hardest time getting myself to the gym. And I’ll be walking around town and hit a block where there’s a bunch of restaurants and I’ll get a whiff of that fry oil and ohhhhhh.” » Read more
PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?
It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect, » Read more
When I was brand new to polyamory, I read everything I could possibly get my hands on. I gobbled up every guidebook I could find on the subject. And when I was done reading those, I hit the Internet.
There wasn’t nearly as much out there in those days as there is now, » Read more
PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?
It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people. » Read more
PQ 18.2 — Do I enjoy time to myself or without my partner? Do I have hobbies I enjoy alone or with others, and a social life that does not rely on my partner?
Having Time To Myself
In spite of the fact that I’m a polyamorous extrovert (labels that when combined scream “people person”), » Read more