My new novel Psychic City has been out for a few weeks. And holy hornbeam have y’all been awesome about it. I’ve been hearing from a lot you who have already read the book (wow) and really enjoyed it (aww).
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the book, Psychic City is a slipstream mystery that follows a trio of polyamorous women who are detectives investigating a string of murders. » Read more
“What I’ve always liked about you,” she tells me, “is that you’re not one of those people who whip out your rah rah polyamory pom poms.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I think.”
“I mean it as a compliment,” she continues. “Like… you’re definitely supportive of polyamory — and other forms of consensual non-monogamy — » Read more
As I’ve written many times before, I had a difficult transition into polyamory. I didn’t find non-monogamy to be easy.
Maybe for some people it is, but that’s not been my experience. Nor was it the reason I got into it in the first place, that it seemed like it would be easier. » Read more
“This is a weird and difficult time to be polyamorous,” he says.
And I know what he means. I’m not sure what to do with it all. With any of it.
It’s tempting at times like these to come up with a quick answer that sounds good. To make up flowcharts or guides that address the problems we want to have rather than the ones we actually have. » Read more
Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.
I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:
To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, » Read more
Hey there! I’m new to poly, I’ve only been doing it for less than a year. I’ve been following your writings for that time and they’ve been a great help.
I still struggle with jealousy though, anxiety attacks, and just generally feeling terrible when my partner goes to explore new connections. » Read more
“I love your new book,” she said.
“Thanks,” I replied. “I don’t usually like what I write, but I’m proud of that one. I’m happy with how it turned out.”
“I’m glad someone said it,” she said. “Loud and clear.”
“That metamour relationships can be difficult sometimes. » Read more
Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.
They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist, » Read more
It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)
While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no, » Read more
Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.
People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy. » Read more