Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.
People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy. » Read more
FOMO: (noun) Fear of Missing Out. Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.
JOMO: (noun) Joy of Missing Out. Feeling of contentment due to staying in and disconnecting, can be considered an act of self-care
Comparison. » Read more
Can you learn to be polyamorous? the reader asks.
Yes, you can.
Well, sort of.
Because so much of the work I did in my early days as a polyamorous person wasn’t about learning polyamory but about unlearning what I’d been taught about relationships. » Read more
I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?
Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time. » Read more
The person I’ve been dating for 3-1/2 years has recently been reposting your stuff from Facebook.
Should I bring it up and directly ask if he is polyamorous? And if I didn’t know this about him, would that be considered cheating since it wasn’t “knowledge or consent of BOTH parties,” » Read more
I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.
Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.
But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it, » Read more
I’m not sure exactly where I heard it first, but it was all the rage during the first year or two after I joined FetLife: “Be a credit to your kink.”
Practically everyone was writing about it back then, in some way, shape, or form.
The basic premise of this catchphrase was this: If you’re doing something considered beyond the sociosexual pale, » Read more
I’m watching my mother-in-law baby proof her house for my nephew since my husband’s brother and his wife will be there any minute with the kid in tow. My mother-in-law moves around the space quickly. It’s clear she has a routine. That she’s done this dozens of times.
She closes doors all up and down the hall. » Read more
As I wrote in an earlier piece, while I didn’t practice polyamory until the last decade or so, I’ve been bisexual for as long as I can remember. And as such, I’m no stranger to bisexual erasure. It’s been a constant companion no matter where I go.
Bisexual erasure involves basically any attempt to invalidate bisexuality as a real sexual identity, » Read more
It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.
I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense. » Read more