PQ 12.6 — Do I use the word veto to describe something other than an ability to unilaterally end a partner’s relationship — for example, when I give input to my partners about how I feel about their other relationships? If so, why? Is there something about the word that reassures me in a way that negotiation and input do not?

a sign that reads "furnished apartment for rent" in the center of the photo. On the left is a thermometer. On the right is a Coca-Cola sign.
Image by turkeychik / CC BY

PQ 12.6 — Do I use the word veto to describe something other than an ability to unilaterally end a partner’s relationship — for example, when I give input to my partners about how I feel about their other relationships? If so, why? Is there something about the word that reassures me in a way that negotiation and input do not?  » Read more

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PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

a steel sign with raised letters that say "THE LAW" viewed from an angle
Image by biscuitsmlp / CC BY

PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

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In my time, I’ve known some folks with very brief relationship agreements.  » Read more

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PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

a black background with white block letters that says "TRY AGAIN!"
Image by Sean MacEntee / CC BY

PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

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As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, there isn’t just one right way to form a polyamorous relationship agreement.

Bottom line: It’s about finding what works.

But there are some elements that successful relationship agreement negotiations tend to share.  » Read more

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PQ 8.8 — More Glue, Please! Sex, Intimacy, and Reinforcing a Relationship Through Collateral Attachment

a closeup of a few dozen bottles of glue that have orange nozzles and white bottles
Image by bradleypjohnson / CC BY

PQ 8.8 — Is sex the glue that holds our relationship together? If my partner has sex with someone else, do I think the relationship will come unglued?

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As I mentioned before, I’m hypersexual. And a large part of my personal development re: relationships has been learning to control my libido.  » Read more

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