Polyamory and Reformed Cheaters: Fessing Up is Hard to Do

a photo of a person in a white shirt viewed from the back, they are sitting in a field of grass, text over picture reads "the first boy I ever loved was my best friend and I'm afraid that's what pushed him away"
Image by whatmegsaid / CC BY

Polyamory is Harder for Reformed Cheaters

“Polyamory? That’s something that’s for reformed cheaters, right?”

And I want to say no when people say that, but it’s a great deal more complicated than that.

While there are plenty of people who become polyamorous without ever being physically unfaithful as monogamous people, there are others who did.  » Read more

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It Takes Two to Dig: Rewriting Relationship Tests

2 shovels on a beach, both with plastic heads (one blue, one neon green)
Image by Rusty Clark / CC BY

I previously wrote about a struggle I’ve faced with “testing” in my relationship with Skyspook in small ways.

Relationship testing involves forcing a partner to demonstrate their love. It can vary widely in severity. In the most destructive relationship tests, partners set up dilemmas in which they are pitted against something vital to their partner,  » Read more

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Poly Honor Student Answers: Defensiveness and Stigma

poly honor student, black and white photo of a young boy scout holding up two fingers like a peace sign
Image by greg westfall / CC BY

A lot of us are guilty of giving poly honor student answers.

“You’re poly?” we’re asked. “Aren’t you worried about diseases?”

And we answer with the standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer, which goes a little something like this: “Of course we are, but we all practice safe sex and are regularly tested.”

Of course,  » Read more

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“But what if they test positive?”

zebra

“But aren’t you worried about diseases?”

It’s a very frequent question asked of poly people – and a very natural one. I know it’s the first one I asked when polyamory was presented to me as a relationship option.

Your standard-issue Poly Honor Student answer goes a little something like this: “Of course we are,  » Read more

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