The Way We See Ourselves & How Others See Us Are Often Very Different Things

it is a diagram known as the Johari window. There are four boxes. Along the top are the labels "known to self" and "not known to self". Along the left side are the labels "known to others" and "not known to others." The box that is known to self and known to others is labeled "arena." The box that is known to others but not known to self is labeled "blind spot." The box that is not known to others and known to self is "facade." the box that is not known to self and not known to others is labeled "unknown."
Image by Simon Shek / CC 0

How we see ourselves and how others see us are often very different things.

Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingraham created an exercise called the Johari Window (named by combining part of both of their first names, Jo + Harri/Hari) that can help bridge that gap.

In the Johari Window exercise, participants pick words from a list of adjectives that they feel describe their personality.  » Read more

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Myers-Briggs & Love Languages Aren’t Scientifically Valid, But That Doesn’t Make Them Useless.

A Magic 8-Ball toy whose display reads "As I see it yes"
Image by greeblie / CC BY

In 2008 I became obsessed with Myers-Briggs. For those who haven’t heard of it, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that gives you a 4-letter result. Each letter is a different binary that represents a dimension of personality.

The first letter of a Myers-Briggs result is either E for Extroversion or I for Introversion.  » Read more

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The Conscientious Polyamorist

a large and very neatly organized and labeled spice collection sitting on a kitchen counter. Two electrical outlets are visible above the spices. The bottom edge of what appears to be a wooden cabinet frames the top of the image.
Image by Lenore Edman / CC BY

A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.

Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:

  1. Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
  2. People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them

As the study authors wrote about the second point:

“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized,  » Read more

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