There’s no getting around it. One of the most sabotaging things you can do is not set boundaries with other people. It can be extremely damaging to your life and happiness if you regularly say yes to other people when you really want to say no.
I have suffered from people pleasing my whole life, and am inclined to change too much for other people, especially if I like them. Even if it makes me miserable. It’s easy in such a situation to be suspicious of your own growth.
I’ve learned that I count. I’m a person too. I should be on that list.
I used to be a person who responded to everyone who contacted me. Day or night. Regardless of who they were, if I even liked them, how much it inconvenienced me.
While it feels good when something is relatable, is it always good? Or are there times when memes simply give us the permission not to do the work to change and grow?
It’s easy for me put myself in other people’s shoes. Sometimes — I’d say most of the time — this comes in handy. But other times? Not so much. And it can be tough for me to stay fixed in my own perspective when I need to and to advocate for what I want.
In today’s essay I’m going to talk about something that will make a lot of sense to recovering people pleasers. It will likely make very… Read More »When Someone Blows Your Entire “Conflict Budget”
I was a really happy-go-lucky kid. Naturally. But as I grew older, I learned to lean more into this feeling. I took on a willingness… Read More »Growing Up Trying to Be as Little Hassle as Possible
There’s a meme that’s been flying around for some time that talks about how kids who were mistreated will learn to love unwanted things. I… Read More »I’ve Always Been a Sucker for a Comeback & It Almost Destroyed Me
The other day I got a question from a reader in response to my essay on the importance of being around gracious people. This is true… Read More »If You’re Asking Yourself If You’re Being a Doormat, Then the Answer Is Yes
Poly.Land is a daily posting site for polyamory, ambiamory, relationship advice, psychology, writing, and more.
Poly.Land is produced by Braided Studios, LLC.
