Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
When I first started dating, I was pretty clueless about what kind of person I should be seeking out. I was frankly pretty slapdash with regard to partner selection.
In the early days, I pretty much would date anyone who would have me. I looked at dating as a challenge where I needed to trick the other person into thinking I was their ideal partner until it was too late for them to change their mind about me — » Read more
Hi Page,
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. It’s my favorite one. Thank you for writing every day, for being there. I’ve read that you struggle with confidence, but you don’t need to. Never stop writing!
I discovered you through my friends on the kink scene (who call you “Page the sage” » Read more
As I’ve said many times in the past, I don’t do a lot of online dating. I tend to be unconventional in the way I meet partners these days. I chiefly meet folks incidentally through friends or through friends of friends. But I do participate in online dating every so often (albeit rarely, the last time was for a few weeks several years ago), » Read more
“How are you doing?” I ask her.
“I’m okay,” she says. And after a pause, she adds, “Considering.”
I nod. “Breakups are never easy,” I commiserate.
“Especially when you never saw it happening.”
“Well, it’s tough to know going in how things will pan out.”
“That’s just the thing…” » Read more
The most difficult part of opening up a relationship is that you’re changing its terms. However, it isn’t just the adjustment stress that can accompany all change (although that can be tough). It’s also that most of the time you didn’t go into the relationship expecting it to be open. And suddenly things that never mattered, » Read more
PQ 12.5 — Do I trust my partner to make good decisions about whom she starts relationships with? Why or why not? What might the consequences be if she makes a poor decision, and how might I deal with those consequences?
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Ooooo boy, this question.
The answer these days regarding my anchor partner Skyspook, » Read more
“My partner is a reflection of me,” she said.
“Oh?”
“What he does,” she continued. “Who he chooses to spend time with.”
“And your metamour?” I said.
“She’s not someone I’d have chosen for him. Not someone I’d choose for myself. Do you know what I mean?” » Read more
PQ 4.2 — What do I consider essential, indispensable elements of a relationship?
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I used to be a big checklist person when it came to partner selection — it was easy for me to list the elements of a “dream partner.” And I expected others to evaluate me in turn. » Read more
One of the most important things they tell you when you’re getting lifeguard training?
Don’t get near a drowning person. Throw the life saver to them. The reason: Getting too close puts your own safety at risk.
As Esther Inglis-Arkell writes:
Drowning victims, especially adults, can be dangerous. » Read more
One of the best ways to be successful in polyamory? Surround yourself with people whose judgement you trust.
As I mentioned in a previous post on setting boundaries with partners and metamours, it’s important to be able to trust your partners to make good decisions.
Because while systemic consultation definitely has its benefits (surely some poly person has stitched COMMUNICATE ~ COMMUNICATE ~ COMMUNICATE on a sampler or two by now), » Read more
