We talk a lot about New Relationship Energy in polyamory, that feeling of euphoria you experience when you start a new relationship. Colors are brighter. Food tastes better. You may have a decreased need for sleep, for food. These cognitive shifts cause you to feel like your new partner can do no wrong. » Read more
I can still remember what my ex-husband said when we’d been dating each for a few months.
“I’m sad that the chase is over.”
I laughed at the time when he said it. Which he wasn’t fond of, because he was being serious (and he often interpreted laughter as hostile).
He went on to explain that his favorite parts of his past relationships had been in the courtship phase. » Read more
The first time you asked me, “How would you feel about moving to Texas?” I laughed.
I thought you were joking.
Because there was nothing on the surface that had ever called to me about Texas. And there were enough stereotypes about it being unsafe there for people who were different… » Read more
I’m lying in bed in my pajamas. It’s bedtime. Every one of my normal bedtime routines has been done. And I’m lying there reading a book, which I do pretty much every night before I go to sleep.
It’s a good book. A funny one. But I glance over and see you lying next to me. » Read more
“Be careful,” she told me.
“Oh?” I said. “What do you mean?”
“I know you’re crazy about this guy, but it’s all so new,” she said.
I smiled. “Yeah, I get that. I know all about New Relationship Energy. I know what that feels like.” New Relationship Energy (or NRE) is a term for the biochemical state that your body enters when you’re first falling in love, » Read more
It’s dark. We’ve been up later than we should be, considering you have regular banker’s hours to contend with. I’ve heard you settle into your routine. Your breathing changes like it always does as you slip into sleep.
I’m reading a book on my Kindle. I have the screen brightness turned way down, » Read more
I remember the first time I ever stuck up for you for a simple reason: Because it was easy. It was the right thing to do.
But at the time, you were really surprised that I’d do that for you. You told me you weren’t used to other people sticking up for you. » Read more
“I was just thinking about Love’s Baby Soft,” I said.
“Oh?” Justin replied.
I nodded. “It’s the way I smelled from 12 to 19. A cheap perfume that smelled like baby powder and something else. Flowers maybe.” I told him I’d been given it as a present one Christmas. Couldn’t remember who from. » Read more
There’s this way that you pull me to you when we’re both half-asleep that tells me you’re something different with me in your life. That I manage to balance you and yet unsettle you in a way that makes us both better.
After spending years together, through thousands of hours of careful observation, » Read more
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“It’s gonna sound silly,” he warns me.
“That’s okay,” I say. “Tell me anyway.”
He hasn’t been polyamorous for terribly long. And until this point, it’s been mostly him dating on his own. His wife, an introvert who enjoys her alone time, hasn’t dated much on her own. » Read more