“We finish each other’s–”
–Arrested Development (and later, Frozen)
Have you ever been so close to someone that you knew what they were going to say next?
It turns out that scientists are researching this, why this happens, » Read more
PQ 18.2 — Do I enjoy time to myself or without my partner? Do I have hobbies I enjoy alone or with others, and a social life that does not rely on my partner?
Having Time To Myself
In spite of the fact that I’m a polyamorous extrovert (labels that when combined scream “people person”), » Read more
PQ 14.2 — Does the agreement serve the purpose it is intended to serve?
“So we got around to the Big Talk,” she says.
“Oh? The opening up talk?” I say.
She nods. “Been putting it off for a while. I was so scared at how it would go.” » Read more
The most difficult part of opening up a relationship is that you’re changing its terms. However, it isn’t just the adjustment stress that can accompany all change (although that can be tough). It’s also that most of the time you didn’t go into the relationship expecting it to be open. And suddenly things that never mattered, » Read more
“Could Non-Monogamy Save Your Marriage?”
I’m asked this fairly often, if I think non-monogamy is a good way to fix a troubled relationship. And outsiders often assume that this is the major reason that relationships open up in the first place.
But it wasn’t that way for me at all. When Seth and I opened up, » Read more
So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
“So this couple I know is poly now. I never would have thought they’d open up,” she says.
“Why is that?” I ask.
“Well, they’re really tame. Neither of them has slept with very many people. I think she’s his first, and he’s her second,” she replies.
“And it surprises you that they opened up?” » Read more
You Can’t Un-Learn a Thing
Once upon a time, I hadn’t even heard of the word “polyamory.” But when a friend came out to me as polyamorous, that changed forever.
You can’t un-learn a thing.
It was a paradigm shift. I no longer saw a strict binary: Monogamy/non-monogamy. With monogamy, as the ideal goal, » Read more
“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”
–Sara Pascoe, writer and stand-up comic
“So I know you’ve been asking for an open relationship for an awfully long time,” I said to him. » Read more
Yes, I can accommodate change, even the not-so-fun type. And it’s a good thing, too.
Because I don’t get a say.
None of us do.
Change is going to happen, no matter what we do. It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of when.
The sensible thing to do then, » Read more