When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

a small concrete building with graffiti on it. Graffiti says "Question Everything?" and "leave your baggage here. Also has some illegible words as well as a large spraypainted depiction of an eye
Image by Jon Evans / CC BY

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

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Advice Friend: My Partner Is Sharing Posts from a Polyamory Page, Should I Be Concerned I’m Being Cheated On?

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Hi Page,

The person I’ve been dating for 3-1/2 years has recently been reposting your stuff from Facebook.

Should I bring it up and directly ask if he is polyamorous? And if I didn’t know this about him, would that be considered cheating since it wasn’t “knowledge or consent of BOTH parties,”  » Read more

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PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

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PQ 11.5 — Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship? Am I comfortable maintaining a relationship within those rules? Am I comfortable with the reasons for the rules?

*

In my time, I’ve known some folks with very brief relationship agreements.  » Read more

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Are Open Relationships Less Sexually Satisfying or Is Dating?: An Alternate Hypothesis

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Image by Bill Smith / CC BY

Quartz recently published a piece called “Turns out open relationships aren’t the most sexually satisfying.”

As Cassie Werber writes in the article:

Opening up a relationship can be about more than sex. Advocates talk about the deep trust forged by letting one’s partner have other relationships,  » Read more

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Go Ahead and Date Your Friends, But Break Up Well

Green background with this text in black letters "Computer dating's OK, if you're a computer. -Rita Mae Brown"
Image by Brett Jordan / CC BY

It’s a common rule that a lot of people have when they open up their relationships: No friends.

It’s likely one of those carryovers from traditional dating wisdom. Don’t date friends because most relationships break up, and if you break up with someone, you’re likely to ruin the friendship.

But my dirty secret: I nearly always date friends.  » Read more

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