Growing up, I had a really hard time saying no. Even when it was the appropriate response, it felt harsh coming out of my mouth. Wrong.
Like a lot of women, I’d been raised to default to compliance. Going along with whatever other people wanted. It was part of blending in. Being liked. » Read more
PQ 9.13 — Am I afraid to express my boundaries? Do I feel they won’t be respected?
Am I Afraid to Express My Boundaries?
These issues are near and dear to my heart. I’m a recovering people pleaser.
As I’ve written about in past articles, » Read more
PQ 9.4 — Am I afraid to say no or disagree with my partner?
For the first 2 or 3 years of our relationship, my ex-husband Seth and I never argued. Not even when we broke up for a week. When I got disgusted that he spent the rent money on video games. » Read more
“Dating is the worst,” she says.
“Tell me about it.”
“I’m just tired of explaining myself,” she says. “Over and over again.”
“Oh? The poly stuff?” I ask, thinking of this meme.
“Well, sure,” she says. “That doesn’t help. Doing a polyamory 101 orientation every time I turn around.” » Read more
Especially when you’re not used to it, setting boundaries with people can be difficult. A recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve struggled a lot with it. And specifically with saying no.
It can be scary to say no to someone. You might hurt someone’s feelings. They might get upset. Even angry. » Read more