“You know,” she says. “I get a rush off meeting new people. It doesn’t even have to someone I’m dating. A capital R Relationship. I can make a new friend, even a new acquaintance, and it’ll make my week. Do you know what I mean?”
I nod. “I do. If I meet someone cool, » Read more
There’s this way that you pull me to you when we’re both half-asleep that tells me you’re something different with me in your life. That I manage to balance you and yet unsettle you in a way that makes us both better.
After spending years together, through thousands of hours of careful observation, » Read more
I’ve been in a relationship for about six months now. We agreed to be polyamorous from the start (both of us had another partner at that point), but we became monogamous by circumstance shortly afterwards. Two months ago, my partner started seeing someone else, and I’ve been struggling since then. » Read more
“I’ve been polyamorous for years,” she says. “And we’ve done so many things together. Wild adventures. I’ve seen her do sexual stuff plenty of times with others. It never bothered me. But I walked in on them in each other’s arms and… ugh.”
“And it pulled at you?” I say, nodding. » Read more
It’s usually one of first things you’re asked when someone finds out that you’re polyamorous: “But don’t you get jealous?” I get asked it a lot. And one of the most important realizations I had was that jealousy isn’t really an emotion.
If anything, jealousy is a system of emotions. » Read more
So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
“So how do you keep the love alive?” she asks me.
It takes me a second to realize she’s talking to me.
“Keep the love alive?” I ask.
“Well, you know, after a while a relationship has a way of becoming… routine. Predictable,” » Read more
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
Bruce Lee, Unlikely Polyamory Master
Oh Bruce Lee, » Read more
There are so many different kinds of love. We really only have one word in English to address a wide variety of feelings. I’ve seen this play out in a number of different, problematic ways. I ran into a situation last summer where the L word got me into trouble, where what was more of a friendly love was taken as something far more serious. » Read more
I have a poly parenting question which is related to the subject in this post.
You say “under the influence of NRE, people have been known to neglect important responsibilities at work, make poor financial decisions, and skimp on sleep and other self-care”.
What if the important responsibility is their children, » Read more