PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

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PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?

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Ooooo… This one is a flashback:  PQ 10.3 – Does everyone affected by the agreement have the opportunity to be involved in setting its terms?

In that piece, I talk about a situation in which you answer an ad to live with two roommates only to find that they’ve unilaterally decided that not only are you paying a third of the rent (which is fair),  » Read more

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PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

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Image by Sean MacEntee / CC BY

PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?

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As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, there isn’t just one right way to form a polyamorous relationship agreement.

Bottom line: It’s about finding what works.

But there are some elements that successful relationship agreement negotiations tend to share.  » Read more

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Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers

an old black and white photo of a couple standing in front of a car with a trailer attached, vintage travelers
Image by Janice Waltzer / CC BY

So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?

I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested.  » Read more

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Mind the Whiplash: Managing the Stress of Renegotiation

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Image by Paula R. Lively / CC BY

So you’ve taken the leap into polyamory. Worked hard on your insecurities. Found partners to explore relationships with. Heck, you’ve even negotiated effective relationship agreements.

You’re living the dream!

And they all live happily ever after, right?

Well. Not so fast.

It’s very common to find that your relationship agreement works out differently in practice than it did in theory.  » Read more

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The Obvious

I know I’ve been talking a lot about chores lately. I probably sound like a neat freak.

In truth, I was a very messy child, who grew into a slob. I then shacked up with and eventually married someone even messier than me. That man is Ex-Husband. He rode off into the sunset long ago.  » Read more

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Wish List

Our psychological and emotional positions in the sadomasochist realm firmly established, I’d broached the topic of D/s. I wanted to know where we were going.

“Well, what do you want?” he asked me.

It was a simple question, but for some reason I found myself unable to answer him. I find this to be the case when I care too much about what I’m about to say—I clam up,  » Read more

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