Hi Page, do you have any tips on BDSM negotiation?
Negotiation Is About Obtaining Clear Consent. In BDSM That’s Not Just Getting a Yes or No, It’s Also Making Sure You Both Know What Someone Is Saying Yes to.
Consent is an extremely important issue to the BDSM community. » Read more
“Are you going to be okay if you see me playing with someone else?” he asks me.
“Of course,” I say. I reiterate to him that I spent several years on the scene before taking a break from public play parties. That I’ve seen partners play with others in the past. » Read more
PQ 14.5 — Is everyone affected by the agreement at the table negotiating it?
Ooooo… This one is a flashback: PQ 10.3 – Does everyone affected by the agreement have the opportunity to be involved in setting its terms?
In that piece, I talk about a situation in which you answer an ad to live with two roommates only to find that they’ve unilaterally decided that not only are you paying a third of the rent (which is fair), » Read more
PQ 14.2 — Does the agreement serve the purpose it is intended to serve?
“So we got around to the Big Talk,” she says.
“Oh? The opening up talk?” I say.
She nods. “Been putting it off for a while. I was so scared at how it would go.” » Read more
PQ 10.4 — How is the agreement negotiated, and under what circumstances can it be renegotiated?
As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, there isn’t just one right way to form a polyamorous relationship agreement.
Bottom line: It’s about finding what works.
But there are some elements that successful relationship agreement negotiations tend to share. » Read more
So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?
I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested. » Read more
So you’ve taken the leap into polyamory. Worked hard on your insecurities. Found partners to explore relationships with. Heck, you’ve even negotiated effective relationship agreements.
You’re living the dream!
And they all live happily ever after, right?
Well. Not so fast.
It’s very common to find that your relationship agreement works out differently in practice than it did in theory. » Read more
I know I’ve been talking a lot about chores lately. I probably sound like a neat freak.
In truth, I was a very messy child, who grew into a slob. I then shacked up with and eventually married someone even messier than me. That man is Ex-Husband. He rode off into the sunset long ago. » Read more
People within the kink community who don’t have histories of childhood trauma and abuse are just as common as those who do.
Still, to many, fifty-fifty may seem like a pretty high ratio of individuals with serious emotional baggage when compared to the general population. » Read more
Our psychological and emotional positions in the sadomasochist realm firmly established, I’d broached the topic of D/s. I wanted to know where we were going.
“Well, what do you want?” he asked me.
It was a simple question, but for some reason I found myself unable to answer him. I find this to be the case when I care too much about what I’m about to say—I clam up, » Read more