Have you ever been talking to someone and suddenly find yourself wondering, “Why do you care so much about that?”
I definitely have. Some people will even say something like that aloud, causing much consternation from their conversation partner and sometimes even a bit of a verbal tussle.
The fact of the matter is that not all people are the same. » Read more
PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?
As I look at today’s question, I think it’s one that perhaps people these days are more likely to ask of me. » Read more
PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?
It’s taken a long time for me to get a handle on what exactly I need from my relationships. But I think I’ve finally pinpointed where real compatibility lies:
Shared values. » Read more
PQ 10.2 — Does the agreement offer a path to success?
The trouble with a lot of couples who are newly opening up is that they’re threat sensitive.
It’s natural to want to protect what you have. But when we focus solely on failure states (like breaking up over changes that come with the introduction of a new partner, » Read more
PQ 10.1 — What needs am I trying to address with this agreement?
I’ve previously written about best practices for negotiating a polyamorous relationship agreement.
Today’s question is a good one to ask yourself when you’re enmeshed in that process: What needs am I trying to address? » Read more
PQ 5.2 — What needs do I have from my partners, in terms of time, emotional availability, commitment, communication and intimacy?
Sometimes I think life would be easier if I had a fixed idea of what a “partner” is.
But I don’t.
I look back on all the people that I’ve known and loved, » Read more