When First Night Effect Doesn’t Fade & Becomes Chronic Polyamorous Guilt

a black and white photo of a tree with red crepe paper stuck in its branches (the crepe paper is the only colorized thing in frame)
Image by Paleontour / CC BY

Recently, I answered a reader letter in an advice column called “I Have My Partner’s Blessing, But I Still Feel Like I’m Cheating. Is This Normal?”

In my response to that letter, I wrote about first night effect. Essentially, first night effect is a phenomenon that many polyamorous folks experience whereby they feel either guilt or shame after their first preapproved nonmonogamous encounter.  » Read more

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Why Write?

Even though I’ve recently set up this public blog presence of my charmed life and kinky times, I’ve been posting introspection and navel-gazing on predominantly kinky topics on Fetlife for some time. Fetlife (fetish + life, get it?), or Fet/FL as a lot of users call it, is social network for kinky people – essentially Facebook for kinksters,  » Read more

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