PQ 2.2 — What configurations am I open to? Am I looking for a particular configuration because I’m afraid that others might be more scary or more threatening?

Lego pieces and parts

Photo by wooleywonderworks/CC BY

I am open to whatever configuration makes the most sense logistically and given the personalities of all involved.

It seems like folly to decide what structure I’m going to build without first having the component parts in hand.

Besides, every time I have tried to come up with some kind of tentative plan,  » Read more

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PQ 2.1 — What are my needs in relationships? Are they attached to specific people? That is, do I need these things generally, or do I need them just from certain people?

a blond woman watching a red balloon fly away into the sky

What are my needs in relationships? Are they attached to specific people? That is, do I need these things generally, or do I need them just from certain people?

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Casual relationships are simple. For casual relationships, I need things to be entertaining and fun, and as long there’s physical chemistry,  » Read more

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PQ 1.7 – If I am already in a relationship, does my desire for others come from my dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship? If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?

"I'm not Needy, I'm Wanty" written in fancy script

If I am already in a relationship, does my desire for others come from my dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship? If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?

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I addressed this in an earlier essay I wrote called “Needy”  » Read more

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PQ 1.5 – How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?

a transparent organism where you can see its spine

Poly Question 1.5

How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?

The importance of transparency for me is very context dependent.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Sucks  

I could never have an ongoing romantic relationship with someone who would not meet Skyspook.  » Read more

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Narrow Path to Security

“Insecurity invents its own evidence and supports its own premises. No amount of someone else’s time and effort is enough to make an insecure person see the light and realize that the insecurity is unfounded. He or she must intentionally and deliberately challenge, understand and then choose to move past the insecurity.”

-Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert,   » Read more

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Better Door Than a Window

white house iwth a green door and green window

Lately, I’ve been reading Franklin Veaux’s More Than Two, which along with The Ethical Slut is about the best reading  for an overview of polyamory and its attendant issues that one can do.

I’ve been a long-time reader of Veaux’s website as it came up as a resource on my very first Google searches of “polyamory” back in 2009 when Megan and Pete came out to our friend group as poly and introduced us all to the concept.  » Read more

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