You’d like to think if you were rich that you would do good things with the money. That you’d become a philanthropist, change the world. That you wouldn’t be one of those ole-timey villain millionaires (villainaires?) sitting atop a giant pile of money like a dragon hoarding a cache of gold coins.
Right? » Read more
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
I’m kind of new to this whole thing, being kinky and poly. Been talking to someone, and I have doubts. I would love to know if you could shed some light on them.
Talking to a guy right now, and he says that just because he’s a Dominant that he can go out with other submissives while he doesn’t even let me talk to other people. » Read more
PQ 18.6 — Are there limits on the concessions I will make, either in terms of what I will agree to or the time span of the agreement?
It’s not at all uncommon when someone is new to polyamory for them to want additional considerations in place, measures that, in effect, » Read more
PQ 18.5 — Am I prepared to make concessions in my relationship to help the monogamous person work through his feelings?
Chapter 18 of More Than Two focuses on mono/poly relationship, ones that are between a monogamous person and a polyamorous one. As I mentioned in an earlier essay in this series, » Read more
PQ 18.1 — Why do I identify as monogamous? Is it because I only want one partner for myself, or because I want my partner to be only with me, or both?
While sometimes we tend to treat monogamy like a unitary concept, it’s important to note that there are typically two separate desires driving a person’s preference to be monogamous:
- Not wanting to share a partner with other lovers.
» Read more
War on Christmas Lady
I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.
“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”
She doesn’t know I can hear her, » Read more
The Cacti of Tantalus
A few years ago, I took a trip out West and saw a cactus growing in the wild for the first time. The more I learned about cacti, the more I became impressed with how they’d adapted to withstand one of the harshest climates on Earth. It inspired me. » Read more
I’ve been doing a lot of reading over the last few months, including lots of your writings, and the more I read on the topic of poly, the more it has started making sense to me.
When I first joined FetLife and met my Dom, I thought I was 100% monogamous. » Read more
I really enjoyed your recent post on viewing monogamy and polyamory as a spectrum. It made me realize I don’t know a lot about mono/poly. What are some common reasons people are in mono/poly relationships? Can it work? Can it be fair? Or does the monogamous person just suffer all the time? » Read more