Mono/poly relationships, i.e., a relationship between a partner who is monogamous and one who is polyamorous, are notoriously difficult. Traditional poly blogger wisdom points the finger at both parties having to compromise and feeling somewhat shortchanged. The difference between the relationship structures is to blame for the trouble, they write. But I think it’s even simpler than that. » Read more
They tell you never to go the grocery store hungry. You’ll careen the aisles, salivating like a ravenous beast, sweeping entire shelves of food into your cart. And we’re not talking celery sticks. This becomes the time when we see exactly how many metric tons of Doritos we can cram into a shopping cart. And queso. » Read more
I wanted to let you know I appreciate your articles and your writing style, most specifically in the sense that you’re giving suggestions and advice, primarily to poly folk, however, even looking at a mono relationship as I am, I easily see where things cross over. » Read more
“Do you think you could ever go back to being monogamous?” I’m sometimes asked. Maybe. It really depends on what you are talking about when you’re talking about monogamy.
Could I limit myself to only having sex with one partner? Certainly. It’s not that difficult. Masturbation and imagination can go a long way. » Read more
If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession. » Read more
Poly Question 1.3
How important is my desire for multiple romantic relationships?
I don’t know that I desire multiple romantic relationships. Rather, they just sort of keep happening to me, a natural byproduct of remaining open to meaningful connections with the world outside of myself, which, frankly, includes a lot of people. » Read more
The game changer is the relationship that comes along and turns everything upside down. It’s the relationship that changes the familiar landscape of life, rearranging the furniture in new and unexpected ways. Game-changing relationships are rare, but when they happen, they happen like tornados, » Read more
A fifth reason came to me as to Why So Few Polyamorists Write in Great Detail (aside from through anonymous or near-anonymous outlets, as PolyLogGal so astutely pointed out in her comments on yesterday’s post). I also thought this might be a good opportunity to talk a bit about my mistakes and times where I’ve been the villain in someone else’s story, » Read more
A lot of my favorite poly bloggers share a similar story: They came to polyamory naturally. Monogamy just wasn’t a thing that they did well (or at all). Sure, they would try to fit themselves into that box, particularly when they came upon someone they truly cared about who expressed that exclusivity was important to them, » Read more
It’s strange to admit this, but making plans to hang with a hot friend of mine, I realized that when it comes to partner selection that I put just about as much thought into what sort of metamour situation I could possibly be creating as to my level of interest in the person. It probably comes from being spectacularly webbed up in 2011 and the strain some of those metamour relationships put on me as a hinge, » Read more