Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.
It’s a nice piece, » Read more
Last week we published “9 Things Monogamists Can Learn From Polyamory.” In that piece, we stated that both monogamy and polyamory have benefits. And that the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.”
We meant that. While we talk more about non-monogamy on this website, » Read more
Most people who haven’t been polyamorous assume it’s difficult because you have learn to share your partner. And while this is true for many people, for me the hardest part was how much I shared myself.
Because one of the things I struggled with most when I began to practice polyamory was feeling like having multiple partners meant that I was shortchanging them. » Read more
As polyamory increases in popularity and new evidence emerges that non-monogamy can be a viable and satisfying way to conduct relationships, it’s tempting to pit monogamy versus polyamory in a boxing match. However, both relationship styles have benefits. And the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.” » Read more
The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
“Never took you as someone who would be polyamorous,” she says.
“Oh,” I say. “Why’s that?”
“Well, normally I wouldn’t say this, » Read more
When you first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. And then after a while, even a great relationship has a way of becoming routine. Even predictable.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are 7 ways to make an old relationship feel shiny and new: » Read more
PQ 5.7 — Are the choices I make in alignment with these values [the values that are most important in myself and others]?
For the most part, I do a pretty okay job making choices that are consistent with my values. This is a good thing as it causes me a fair bit of distress whenever I depart from my values. » Read more
You Can’t Un-Learn a Thing
Once upon a time, I hadn’t even heard of the word “polyamory.” But when a friend came out to me as polyamorous, that changed forever.
You can’t un-learn a thing.
It was a paradigm shift. I no longer saw a strict binary: Monogamy/non-monogamy. With monogamy, as the ideal goal, » Read more
I’ll admit it. I think polyamory is pretty awesome. But what isn’t awesome? Unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, a lot of folks new to polyamory approach it expecting it to be a cure-all for their relationship issues.
Here are 8 things that polyamory doesn’t fix:
1. Polyamory Doesn’t Get Rid of Breakups
In fact, » Read more
“There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.”
So Monogamous That We Have Lots of Threesomes
“It’s funny. I can’t believe how monogamous we are,” she says.
“Oh?” I ask. » Read more