As polyamory increases in popularity and new evidence emerges that non-monogamy can be a viable and satisfying way to conduct relationships, it’s tempting to pit monogamy versus polyamory in a boxing match. However, both relationship styles have benefits. And the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.” » Read more
Yes, Poly People Are Insecure…Because They’re People
The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
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“Never took you as someone who would be polyamorous,” she says.
“Oh,” I say. “Why’s that?”
“Well, normally I wouldn’t say this, » Read more
7 Ways to Keep Love Alive and Make an Old Relationship Feel New
When you first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. And then after a while, even a great relationship has a way of becoming routine. Even predictable.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are 7 ways to make an old relationship feel shiny and new: » Read more
1.
PQ 5.7 — Are the choices I make in alignment with these values?
PQ 5.7 — Are the choices I make in alignment with these values [the values that are most important in myself and others]?
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For the most part, I do a pretty okay job making choices that are consistent with my values. This is a good thing as it causes me a fair bit of distress whenever I depart from my values. » Read more
Post-Poly Exile: On Your Own in the In-Between
You Can’t Un-Learn a Thing
Once upon a time, I hadn’t even heard of the word “polyamory.” But when a friend came out to me as polyamorous, that changed forever.
You can’t un-learn a thing.
It was a paradigm shift. I no longer saw a strict binary: Monogamy/non-monogamy. With monogamy, as the ideal goal, » Read more
It’s Not a Cure-All: 8 Things Polyamory Doesn’t Fix
I’ll admit it. I think polyamory is pretty awesome. But what isn’t awesome? Unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, a lot of folks new to polyamory approach it expecting it to be a cure-all for their relationship issues.
Here are 8 things that polyamory doesn’t fix:
1. Polyamory Doesn’t Get Rid of Breakups
In fact, » Read more
“I’m Extremely Monogamous”: People Who Don’t Think They’re Poly
“There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.”
So Monogamous That We Have Lots of Threesomes
“It’s funny. I can’t believe how monogamous we are,” she says.
“Oh?” I ask. » Read more
Queer, There, Everywhere: Upstaged by Dudes
“It’s nothing personal, Page,” she says.
We’re sitting in my car. My tiny blue compact, grandma-ed out with a black car bra. Her skin is glowing softly in the parking lot lights flooding into the backseat and just gracing her face.
“What do you mean ‘it’s nothing personal?’” I reply. “You don’t feel the same way about me that I do about you. » Read more
Atheism and Poly: What’s Stopping You?
“I get that you’re poly and all, and you seem happy enough,” she says, “It’s just…”
“Just?”
“Well, what’s to stop any of you from running off with a new person the minute you fall in love? New people can be awfully shiny.”
I smile. “They sure can.”
“Seriously though,” » Read more
Compersion Isn’t the Opposite of Jealousy. Hurting You Is.
“The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”
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“You okay?” I ask.
“Yup,” Skypook says. “I’m fine.” But it’s in that too quick, all-systems-go kind of way. How people say it when they want you to leave them alone. » Read more