I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

a person dressed in black walking down a brick sidewalk towards a brick building. The ground looks wet. It appears to have just rained. Their umbrella has primary colors on it (red, blue, and yellow).
Image by bazzadarambler / CC BY

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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Monogamy or Polyamory: Feeling Special as an Only Child or in a Big Family

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Image by Giacomo Da Ros / CC BY

Most people who haven’t been polyamorous assume it’s difficult because you have learn to share your partner. And while this is true for many people, for me the hardest part was how much I shared myself.

Because one of the things I struggled with most when I began to practice polyamory was feeling like having multiple partners meant that I was shortchanging them.  » Read more

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9 Things Monogamists Can Learn From Polyamory

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Image by Coralie Ferreira / CC BY

As polyamory increases in popularity and new evidence emerges that non-monogamy can be a viable and satisfying way to conduct relationships, it’s tempting to pit monogamy versus polyamory in a boxing match. However, both relationship styles have benefits. And the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.”  » Read more

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PQ 5.7 — Are the choices I make in alignment with these values?

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Image by isengardt / CC BY

PQ 5.7 — Are the choices I make in alignment with these values [the values that are most important in myself and others]?

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For the most part, I do a pretty okay job making choices that are consistent with my values. This is a good thing as it causes me a fair bit of distress whenever I depart from my values.  » Read more

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