Jealousy Shaming, Gatekeeping, and Honor Students: No, Really. Please Be Jealous. I Mean It.

a Funko Pop toy doll of Ferris Bueller
Image by Richard Elzey / CC BY

Jealousy Shamed

One of the more surreal aspects of blogging to a wide audience is reading other people’s takes on the personal experiences you’ve shared with them. You get used to it quickly, or you don’t last. I find that even more challenging perspectives can be helpful if I can resist the urge to get defensive.  » Read more

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To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, Not a Binary

A venn diagram up above a cityscape. One of the circles says "yes," the other says "no." The overlap between the two is labeled "me."
Image by Terminals & Gates / CC BY

Mono/poly relationships (i.e., pairings in which one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous) are famously difficult.

While there are many factors, we do ourselves no favors by viewing monogamy and polyamory as polar opposites rather than as points on the same spectrum.

Consider this: It’s difficult to find a workable middle between two things if you’re convinced that one can’t possibly exist.  » Read more

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I’m Married to Him, But I’m Not His Primary

a person dressed in black walking down a brick sidewalk towards a brick building. The ground looks wet. It appears to have just rained. Their umbrella has primary colors on it (red, blue, and yellow).
Image by bazzadarambler / CC BY

Fellow poly Clevelander Ferrett Steinmetz recently published a post called “I’m Married to Her, but I’m Not Her Primary.” What renders him secondary, Ferrett writes in this post, is his wife’s commitment to her children from a previous marriage and how she (understandably) prioritizes that role over their relationship.

It’s a nice piece,  » Read more

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Monogamy or Polyamory: Feeling Special as an Only Child or in a Big Family

a bunch of purple grapes with one green one
Image by Giacomo Da Ros / CC BY

Most people who haven’t been polyamorous assume it’s difficult because you have learn to share your partner. And while this is true for many people, for me the hardest part was how much I shared myself.

Because one of the things I struggled with most when I began to practice polyamory was feeling like having multiple partners meant that I was shortchanging them.  » Read more

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9 Things Monogamists Can Learn From Polyamory

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Image by Coralie Ferreira / CC BY

As polyamory increases in popularity and new evidence emerges that non-monogamy can be a viable and satisfying way to conduct relationships, it’s tempting to pit monogamy versus polyamory in a boxing match. However, both relationship styles have benefits. And the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.”  » Read more

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