When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

a small concrete building with graffiti on it. Graffiti says "Question Everything?" and "leave your baggage here. Also has some illegible words as well as a large spraypainted depiction of an eye
Image by Jon Evans / CC BY

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

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Image by AirHaake / CC BY

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the less far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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I’m Waaaaay Pickier About Partner Selection Now That I’m Polyamorous

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Image by Rachel Lyra Hospodar / CC BY

As I’ve said many times in the past, I don’t do a lot of online dating. I tend to be unconventional in the way I meet partners these days. I chiefly meet folks incidentally through friends or through friends of friends. But I do participate in online dating every so often (albeit rarely, the last time was for a few weeks several years ago),  » Read more

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Monogamy as a Choice Rather Than a Default: Do We Really Need Yet Another Way to Be Incompatible?

a black and white photograph of 3 individuals sitting/crouching against what appears to be the front wall of a building outside. The first two going left to right have their hair in their faces/eyes. The one of hte right is staring straight forward and appears to be mid-laugh.
Image by TarasTarasov / CC BY

Hi Page,

I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I like your writing because I feel like you talk about polyamory and monogamy in ways that are realistic and like you can understand a person pursuing either relationship style, so long as people are treating each other in a healthy way.   » Read more

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PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

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Image by Inti / CC BY

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?


It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people.  » Read more

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PQ 18.1 — Two Different Components of Monogamy: Not Wanting Multiple Partners & Not Wanting to Share

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Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 18.1 — Why do I identify as monogamous? Is it because I only want one partner for myself, or because I want my partner to be only with me, or both?


While sometimes we tend to treat monogamy like a unitary concept, it’s important to note that there are typically two separate desires driving a person’s preference to be monogamous:

  1. Not wanting to share a partner with other lovers.
  2.   » Read more

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