Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

a house with a colorful abstract mural painted on its side that reads "Be Excellent to Each Other"
Image by Jeremy Segrott / CC BY

Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

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When You Ask Someone to Question One Thing, You May Be Asking Them to Question Everything

a small concrete building with graffiti on it. Graffiti says "Question Everything?" and "leave your baggage here. Also has some illegible words as well as a large spraypainted depiction of an eye
Image by Jon Evans / CC BY

Upon hearing that I’ve written three books about polyamory and maintain a popular daily blog that heavily (although not exclusively) focuses on consensual non-monogamy, most people assume I must be some kind of polyamory fanatic.

They presume that I jumped into non-monogamy vigorously, happily, excited as heck. That I was an exuberant polyamorist,  » Read more

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Polyamory Doesn’t Actually Need to Be Easy to Be Something Worth Pursuing

a photograph of a sunrise over the Alps
Image by AirHaake / CC BY

There are some people who say that polyamory is objectively way easier than monogamy (or, the far less commonly used term monamory, the desire or practice of having a single intimate relationship at a time, which is perhaps a more accurate opposite).

They insist that polyamory more closely mimics our natural state or that it’s simply easier to manage.  » Read more

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I’m Waaaaay Pickier About Partner Selection Now That I’m Polyamorous

an orange life raft in pretty bad shape
Image by Rachel Lyra Hospodar / CC BY

As I’ve said many times in the past, I don’t do a lot of online dating. I tend to be unconventional in the way I meet partners these days. I chiefly meet folks incidentally through friends or through friends of friends. But I do participate in online dating every so often (albeit rarely, the last time was for a few weeks several years ago),  » Read more

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