In Polyamory, Comfort Is a Huge Time-Saver

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Image by Harry Rose / CC BY

One of the questions I’m most often asked by monogamous or polycurious people is “How do you have time for it all?”

Typically, my reflex is to dive into some time management principles. Talk about different frameworks that can help you to prioritize (for example, Eisenhower/Covey’s time management matrix). Perhaps I’ll discuss the 80/20 Pareto principle,  » Read more

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4 Things I’ve Found to Be True While Dating Polyamorously Regardless of Current Role

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Image by storebukkebruse / CC BY

Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations.  Not just help for secondaries,  » Read more

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PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

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Image by Inti / CC BY

PQ 18.4 — Am I prepared to give my monogamous partner time and space to process his feelings about my polyamory?

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It’s been a long time since I tried to date anyone who identified as monogamous. Really not since I was first polyamorous. And the reason for that back then was that I didn’t know that many other polyamorous people.  » Read more

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How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

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As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

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PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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Image by Patrick McConahay / CC BY

PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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This question sits at the intersection of two separate — but important — issues.

The first is that whenever possible it’s best to stay out of other people’s relationships,  » Read more

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PQ 12.3 — What do I believe will happen if I ask a partner to end another relationship, and he or she says no? Why will that thing happen?

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Image by Simeon Berg / CC BY

PQ 12.3 — What do I believe will happen if I ask a partner to end another relationship, and he or she says no? Why will that thing happen?

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Veto power† is a funny thing.

Ostensibly, it’s adopted to give a sense of security to both partners. “If anything happens that scares us or threatens our underlying relationship,  » Read more

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PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

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Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

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As I mentioned in an earlier post, agreements that don’t take the needs of everyone they affect into consideration aren’t ideal.  » Read more

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