How Being Polyamorous Can Be Different: Unorthodox Friendships & Support

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As a person who has been polyamorous for quite a while now, I’m sometimes asked by others how it’s different. And I suppose if you break it down, there are a lot of little differences that stem from within me. Things that tend to bother other people really don’t bother me. I’ve lost all sense of outrage regarding what are popularly regarded as “  » Read more

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PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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Image by Patrick McConahay / CC BY

PQ 12.10 — If I start a relationship with someone who is already partnered, what kind of input do I feel is reasonable for their other partners to have in our relationship?

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This question sits at the intersection of two separate — but important — issues.

The first is that whenever possible it’s best to stay out of other people’s relationships,  » Read more

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PQ 12.3 — What do I believe will happen if I ask a partner to end another relationship, and he or she says no? Why will that thing happen?

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PQ 12.3 — What do I believe will happen if I ask a partner to end another relationship, and he or she says no? Why will that thing happen?

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Veto power† is a funny thing.

Ostensibly, it’s adopted to give a sense of security to both partners. “If anything happens that scares us or threatens our underlying relationship,  » Read more

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PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

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Image by Mark Morgan / CC BY

PQ 11.4 — What will I do if a secondary partner becomes dissatisfied with the rules that apply to them? Am I willing or able to involve that partner in renegotiation of those rules?

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As I mentioned in an earlier post, agreements that don’t take the needs of everyone they affect into consideration aren’t ideal.  » Read more

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Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous?

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Today’s article is a guest blog post by Matthew Shadrake.

Matt is a polyamorous switch and a big ole softie. He has previously contributed 3 posts to Poly.Land:

  1. Twin Demons: How I Learned About Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Monogamy
  2. The Difference Between Having Preferences and Being a Prejudiced Asshole in Online Dating
  3. Firing a Gun Into a Dark Room: Strip Clubs,
  4.   » Read more

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PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

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Image by pumpkincat210 / CC BY

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

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There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

-Gilbert K. Chesteron

Minoring in Anxiety

“I’m happy for her,  » Read more

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