Sometimes I see other people weighing the pros and cons of a big change. Coming up with lists. Emotionally processing for months before they make that big decision: To do or not to do — that is the question.
I’ve noticed most of the time that they don’t. They stick with the status quo. » Read more
Today’s article is a guest post by Fay Creature.
Fay Creature has been practicing polyamory since 1998 and kink since 2003. She is queer – in sexuality, gender, and her approach to relationships, power exchange, and BDSM.
And check out what she wrote for Poly Land today:
Mental Health and My D/s Dynamics
I believe that BDSM can be very healing, » Read more
A while ago, I wrote a piece called “Abused Kids Get to Look Like Their Bullies“:
On countless mornings, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror and want to punch myself in the face.
Because I look like her at certain angles.
Her chin, strong but not square. » Read more
“I can’t go without shaving down there anymore,” she says. “And it has nothing to do with feminism. Or being anti-feminism. ”
“Oh yeah?” I say. Because I don’t know what else to say. Over the months we’ve worked together, she’s become progressively more comfortable around me. Probably because I never freak out about what she says, » Read more
Have you ever considered, beloved other, how invisible we are to each other? We look at each other without seeing. We listen to each other and hear only a voice inside our self. The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people’s words. » Read more
The trouble with lacking healthy boundaries is that you can get away without having them for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean a REALLY long time. We’re talking decades.
If you’re a doormat or a people pleaser, you didn’t become one overnight. You grew into this from your social environment, » Read more
It’s a sad fact of life that we fall apart in front of those we feel safest with.
We keep it together in front of the boss, but when we get home from the office, we break into tears and snap at our love(s) about dinner not being ready. Or it’s their day to fall apart, » Read more
I grew up in a house where most of the conflict was very quiet. When nasty things were said, it was often in a very calm tone of voice. My mother had one negative emotion word she used all the time. It was “mad.” My dad wasn’t around much because he put in long hours and traveled for work, » Read more
It’s been great to touch base lately with some of my other partnered poly friends. My best friend Fluffy, while definitely polyamorous and possessing a very similar bent towards relationship anarchy as my own, has a hard time finding partners and hasn’t been in a relationship for a few years now. The spirit is willing, » Read more
In the past, I’ve caught some heat — and more than my share of confused expressions — by my refusal to go scorched earth on people who have wronged me in some major way.
Granted, I have sought out a change in status when it made sense to — moving out, breaking up, » Read more