“Hands Off That Guilt!”: Emotional Loan Sharks and Guilt Without an Expiration Date

a picture of a shark swimming through the ocean, taken from under the water
Image by Allan Lee / CC BY

“Hands Off That Guilt!”

Last week, we posted “Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt from Hurting a Partner” in response to a reader who wrote in asking for help.

The piece drew a lot of interest. Most of it was positive and thanked us for tackling a common issue that isn’t often addressed by existing poly how-to.  » Read more

Continue Reading

You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive

a piece of looseleaf paper that says in cursive "hegel. merde." with a pen lying next to it
Image by Margherita Puzzo / CC BY

I Try Smiling

“You get what you expect,” the instructor says.

It’s my first day of community college. We’re sitting in a small room with desks that are at least 30 years old. Mine has vaguely letter-like shapes carved into it. What it says is illegible. It’s a pity, really.  I want somewhere to put my eyes because my anxiety is in rare form.  » Read more

Continue Reading


I was in a relationship for many years where whenever I asked for any assistance, albeit with finances, chores, or emotional support, I was told that I was abusive and a burden and responsible for causing his depression by “being such a bitch.”

I was told that even bringing up the topic of sex or attempting seduction more than once or twice a week was sexual coercion and attempted rape and that I was guilty of repeated habitual sexual assault by baring my breasts unprompted or touching him without invitation to do so –  » Read more

Continue Reading